Hustle up the Hancock is the most excruciating triple marathon you can
put your quads and lungs through in one 20-minute, 94-floor stair climb.
It's a fundraiser for a lung health organization that (the race, not
the organization) ironically kicks up an effluvium of long-dormant dust
in a rarely used staircase and it ultimately gives the runners hacking,
blood-flavored coughs. Unfortunately, "Hack up the Hancock" is already
trademarked or something so the organizers are forced to use the
less-accurate "Hustle" every year.
But! Every year I did the climb I
organized a hacking team that I cleverly named the Social Climbers,
which both mitigated our pain and elevated (ahem) our social standing by
the sheer force of its Oscar-worthy cleverness.
And it always inspired
us to never give up. (Ahem again.)
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