Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is to achieve the holy confluence of isolation, gumption and aim that it requires to take a reasonably flattering gym stealthfie of this artistic and compositional caliber? DO YOU?

No, you do not.

Open letter to One Direction: No matter how many times you mushmouth through that stupid chorus, never in this or any other language does “hotel rooms” rhyme with “rendez-vous.” Sheesh.