But it was the hapless Nazis who were the ones forced to carry around identification papers at all times and present their victim cards at the borders.

Proposed taglines for trump.dating

StrKKKts only!
Taking sheep breeding to the next level!
Swipe Reich!
Take a break from inbreeding!
Have sex for less than $130 million!
Three-wife limit!
Where “happily married people” count as “local singles”!
Date local married singles!
Grab him by the bone spur!
Red hats, white sheets and who cares if you’re already married?
A new way to fuck the whole country!
Where it doesn’t matter how small your hands are!
I do-tard!
Where shitholes meet!

Your empty life of quiet desperation isn't because you're single, Ann.

It's because you're a horrible, repulsive person. I'm single and I'm living a full life of loud happiness. And thankfully you're not a part of it.

It’s so cute that he’s finally learned the SPELLING of “smart”

ADDENDUM: Apparently the stupid old fuck WASN'T lying for once about his crowd size. But I’m still leaving this post up to retroactively mock him for the many previous empty rallies and inaugurations that he pathetically bragged were full. Plus I want to think I contributed to one of his epic meltdowns. Plus I’m making some fake news that he can for once tell the truth about.

This post is a public service on SO MANY LEVELS.

Just for the record ...

When I was "bleeding badly" from my non-hyphenated facelift, I went out to dinner three nights in a row at a golf resort that was NOT owned by Donald Trump.

I have standards.

Don't yell

Mock and deride the goatfucking man-boy here

The worst thing about this: This pants-wetting, pussy-grabbing, integrity-devoid, bitch-whiny attention whore is somehow our president.

The best thing about this: The delusionally narcissistic, breathlessly self-laudatory "Apprentice is a television smash!" teaser copy on the not-intelligently-designed fake cover of a magazine that he whines ad nauseam is "fake news" but he clearly saw as credible enough to copy for this pathetic self-promotion is critiqued thusly in the withering Washington Post exposé: "And it has two exclamation points. Time headlines don't yell."

Seriously?

Man-boy is STILL so obsessed with the size of his ... crowds that he's using this photo as his Twitter banner. Not a picture of him showing familial love and support for any of the so-recently traumatized children from his multiple wives. Nothing showcasing his celebrated bipartisan deal-making accomplishments. Nothing representing international diplomacy or a show of solidarity with, say, any G7 country that may have dealt with multiple terror attacks in the last 48 hours. Nothing promoting the coming together of a deeply divided America. Nope. Just a tightly cropped crowd shot outside of his plane. Because his pathologically desperate need for validation and popularity is the Number One message he wants to telegraph to the world.

Him first. And only him. Him, him, him.

#TheCognitiveDissonance

Oh, Scott. Scott, Scott, Scott. Bless your heart. I'll try to keep this short so you can get back to showing off your import:

1. The fact that you feel obligated to state that you're not afraid is tacit acknowledgement that we're well past the tipping point where most of your swamp friends are afraid to admit they support Melania's Profound Regret and all thinking people are afraid for reasons that are apparently beyond your understanding.
2. Speaking of understanding, "tacit" means "understood or implied without being stated."
3. Really. One little sticker is more than enough to proclaim to the world your catastrophic lack of judgment. But five little stickers AND an entire bottle of rub-on shoe polish? That just exponentiates your bad judgment about your bad judgment.
4. "Exponentiates" means "raises one quantity to the power of another."
5. Don't worry. Betsy DeVos took that last one off the test. Math is apparently too Satany.
6. Your car photo doesn't show your license plate so I can't discern what state you live in -- gratuitous "of denial" and "of delusion" jokes notwithstanding -- but a perfunctory google search just showed me that obstructing your rear window outside of a varying allowance of a few square inches in each corner is considered dangerous and illegal in all of the state traffic codes I read.
7. STATES' RIGHTS! YEAH!
8. "Perfunctory" means "carried out with a minimum of effort."
9. I apologize. I know I promised to keep this short. But there are so many things profoundly wrong with you.
10. Mazda is a Japanese multinational automaker based in Fuchū, Aki District, Hiroshima Prefecture, Japan. Four of the five little stickers on your Japan-is-not-America Mazda clearly -- CLEARLY! -- state "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" In all caps! With exclamation points! One has to wonder the level of cognitive dissonance required to put multiple pro-America stickers on an imported car and declare a "love" of "showing off" that car in presumably pro-American "support" of a by clear implication pro-American "president."
11. "Cognitive dissonance" means ... oh, never mind. Betsy won't allow it on the test either. Enjoy your metaphorical obstructed-view drive.
12. "Metaphor" means ... oy ... let's just say it's one fewer than metaphive so you won't have to count so high.

My most fervent wishes:

1. You crash and burn HARD and FAST in the searing fire of your million delusionally arrogant lies before you do any lasting or permanent damage to our country.

2. You continue to humiliate yourself and your party to the cataclysmic end of your crash-and-burn through the willful ignorance, laughable ineptitude and unhinged, desperate ranting you insist on calculatedly broadcasting for all searchable eternity on social media and self-satisfiedly trumpeting every time you try to fake your way through a coherent sentence in front of the legitimate media you whine so pathetically about but even you know you'd die without.

3. You clumsily try -- and fail before you even start so nobody gets hurt -- to grab one last pussy on your way down so your trifecta of political, social and sexual humiliation is complete.

4. You somehow achieve a level of self-aware sentience that lets you finally realize that the entire world is laughing at you.

5. Once you fully comprehend the consequences of your catastrophic failings as a human being, you finally get the councelling you so desperately need. And that your insurance covers it.