Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Monday, December 02, 2019

Does this smell stinky to you?

I recently got a letter from Kwik Trip saying a car with my license plate was seen driving away without paying for gas at 5:07 am on a weekday in Marshalltown, IA--a faraway city I have never visited. It was written with clumsy English phrasing and asked me to send a credit card number, so I thought it was a scam and ignored it.

Then I got another letter that was very threatening. I was concerned that the sender somehow had my license plate number, name and address, so I sent a message to the Kwik Trip corporate office via its website instead of the contact info on the letters to see if it was legitimately from them--and they promptly responded to say yes, and whoever drove away without paying either had an altered license plate or had stolen one of mine--and *I* needed to file a police report and provide Kwik Trip with layers of proof that it wasn't my car that drove away.

I wrote back using my anger words saying 1) if they don't demand a credit card or up-front payment before letting people pump gas it's their irresponsible corporate practice and therefore their problem, not mine, 2) I have no obligation to spend time calling the police and chasing down paperwork to send them based on unsubstantiated, poorly written accusations, and 3) the burden of proof is on them and they need to send me a photo of my car and license plate at their pump or leave me the fuck alone. They promptly wrote back again to tell me that they had benevolently canceled my "account" and that I "owed" them no money.

So questions: Does this smell stinky? Do you think it's some kind of Kwik Trip corporate scam? Did they illegally obtain my personal and vehicle information? Did they by any definition harass me? Should I call the police on them?

In the mean time: If their stupidly spelled name weren't enough to drive you away, DON'T SHOP AT KWIK TRIP so you can prevent yourselves from being scammed. Fucking assholes.

I have a paper trail and a string of stupidly incriminating emails from Kwik Trip. I'm gonna keep pursuing the issue with the police and the Better Business Bureau and all of Twitter just to be a pain in the ass back at them.

Wednesday, September 04, 2019

We may like her feely-goody simpleton messages of love and positivity and even some of her good-sense policy proposals

But this woman who has called vaccinations "Draconian" and suggested that her god is more powerful than AIDS medications has now proposed that skipping-through-meadows happy wishful thinking can influence massive, apocalyptic hurricanes and is no more fit to be the leader of the free world than the massive, catastrophic shitshow we have now.

Please stop giving her agency and legitimizing her enough to appear to be a viable presidential candidate. She's equipped to be a LiveLaughLove spiritual book writer and nothing more.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

In celebration of Pride month, I have burst out of the closet!

And by “burst out of the closet” I mean “removed the floor guides, carefully lifted the closet doors from their roller tracks, carried them upstairs to the garage where I have drop cloths and rag-draped saw horses set up, given them two coats of bullshit-one-coat paint, let them become thoroughly dry, and brought them back downstairs to wait for the door frame to completely dry so I can re-install them.”

Saturday, June 30, 2018

It should not take:

* A password change
* A security question change
* A hide-and-seek link on the website
* A sudden requirement to download an app
* A five-minute wait for the app to download an upgrade
* A Digital Security Device activation code sent via text
* A Digital Security Device activation code sent via email
* A message with a little red stop sign saying that my account online activity has been suspended
* A phone call
* A third Digital Security Device activation code sent via text
* A customer service rep named "Dave" who asks me how to pronounce "Iowa"
* A four-business-day wait
* Plus a seven-day wait for my check

To close an untouched-for-eight-years online account with a balance of $107.69.
HSBC: You suck.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Four serious allegations

OK. I’ll cop to the charges of wearing cargo shorts and owning Abercrombie & Fitch over the age of 22—and I will totally Javert you for turning me in, whoever you are—and I assume the other two charges are pre-emptive for grammar-shaming the robocall for saying “four serious allegations pressed on your name” and “so that we can discuss about this case” and for awkwardly flirting with any of the local police who might be cute, but I refuse to lower my standards to the point of calling an an upstate New York area code because I’m a Manhattan-or-nothing kind of wannabe New Yorker. 

So come and take me under custody—especially if we get to sing “Cell Block Tango”—cute local coppers!