I’m off to my Gays Do Galena reunion weekend with some big gay Chicago friends I haven’t seen since our last reunion six months ago

To guilt them into enduring friendship, I’m bring multiple homemade (specifically, mom-made) pies in super-gay Longaberger baskets trimmed in super-gay fruit-print ruffles. Except we’re missing one basket lid, so we substituted a super-gay kitty towel.

Also: I’m bringing super-optimistic sunglasses in case we ever see the sun again.

Stop pretending to show compassion, Ivanka

Two reasons I’m in a peaceful, happy, optimistic mood tonight:

1. I’m sitting with my mom right now after she’s survived a miserable day of 102°+ fevers and unstable standing and walking and multiple appointments with doctors and labs, and she now seems comfortable and stable and noticeably better. Actually, she’s just started snoring on the couch, so she’s clearly able to finally drift blissfully off to sleep.

2. We watched the CNN town hall together tonight, amid tons of texts and calls from well-wishing family and friends, and not only did trump and his fellow no-show cowards get eviscerated over and over and over on national television by teenagers who are exponentially more intelligent and articulate and BADASS BRAVE than they are, but Marco Rubio—who, to his credit, had the unexpected integrity to show up—got his corrupt puppet ass RIPPED OFF AND RUBBED IN HIS SMUG FACE by a kid who all by himself embodies everything I think our battered, destroyed country needs to kill off the trump and rubio cancers that are destroying us from within and then rebuild us to be the country that smart, rational, visionary, decent people like him can make it to be.