He doesn't believe an entire globe of scientists and catastrophic empirical evidence about climate change but he believes a genocidal dictator because he was nice once

When I bold-caps-reverse-Comic-Sans MY staggeringly insincere condolences over the death of someone who has devoted his life to serving our country, I always end them with an exclamation point too

Oh—and I ALWAYS INCLUDE A PHOTO OF MYSELF.

I stole this from Twitter and rewrote it a bit

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.
Then The Kushner thought of something he hadn't before:
Perhaps foreign-affairs experience can't be bought at a store ...
Perhaps foreign-affairs experience ... means a little bit more!

OMG

PROBABLY

"Told by the Democrats that you must be nasty to Trump"

You know what can cause petulant egocentric paranoia? Late-stage syphilis.

"I will also be going to a wonderful state, Missouri, that I won by a lot in '16."

This POS "president" claims defiantly that Twitter is his "modern day presidential" channel for getting his unfiltered messages to the American people on his schedule and on his terms. He's tweeted a lot of his usual toddler vomit in the last 24 hours, but not once in that time has he used Twitter to even show a passing interest in acknowledging the human scale of suffering and devastation wrought by Hurricane Harvey -- or even in offering the thoughts and prayers that everyone knows he doesn't think or give. Yet he's used Twitter to announce that he'd pardoned a convicted racist and murderer who is coincidentally a political crony, to endorse a book that was ghost-written for someone who is also coincidentally a political crony, and to brag about a 10-month-old election win.

There is no clearer manifestation of his combined arrogance, ineptitude and catastrophic failure as a human being.

OMG

Are you a good witch? Or a sandwich?

It's hot and it's monotonous

synecdoche (sin EK doe key) noun: a metaphor using part of something to represent the whole of something or vice versa

examples:

fact: Donald Trump is a belligerent, puerile man-boy who doesn't know anything about anything; arrogantly thinks he can fake his way through everything; and spends his empty, appallingly entitled life sending meaningless, childish tweets, lying about his ongoing treason, ignoring his many wives and children, insulting and repulsing other countries to the point of diplomatic alienation, screaming FAKE NEWS! like an uncontrollably shitting toddler, and destroying America for his own financial gain.

synecdoche: The White House is an international embarrassment.

Holiday greetings from our private beach vacation!

Shooting straight

The party you delusionally declared your intention to create the position of "trans ambassador" for and who humiliatingly rejected you and everything you are hates you. Hates you. Amid domestic poverty, the acceleration of violent racism, international terrorism and many other threats that are of vital importance to address, they devote inordinate amounts of time writing legislation and pushing a party-wide agenda to segregate and humiliate and dehumanize you for trying to go to the bathroom. THE BATHROOM. And just wait for the vitriol they'll hurl at you if you try to marry a woman. Or anyone. As a trans person, you are barely human to them.

The trans-embracing left does nothing on that level of cruelty but expects a reciprocal level of compassion and human decency from you. Making opportunistic partisan jokes about attempted murder -- especially as a woman who has killed another human being -- shows there is no bottom to the absence of compassion and human decency that rots your entitled, self-important lack of a soul.

I am done defending everything about you over this statement. I stand up to and try to educate anyone who makes cruel or simply insensitive comments about trans people. You to date have generated the overwhelming majority of these conversations. And until this, I defended you despite our idealogical differences. But you are less than human to me now too. You are no better than the party you cling to who works so hard to loathe you. You deserve each other.

My most fervent wishes:

1. You crash and burn HARD and FAST in the searing fire of your million delusionally arrogant lies before you do any lasting or permanent damage to our country.

2. You continue to humiliate yourself and your party to the cataclysmic end of your crash-and-burn through the willful ignorance, laughable ineptitude and unhinged, desperate ranting you insist on calculatedly broadcasting for all searchable eternity on social media and self-satisfiedly trumpeting every time you try to fake your way through a coherent sentence in front of the legitimate media you whine so pathetically about but even you know you'd die without.

3. You clumsily try -- and fail before you even start so nobody gets hurt -- to grab one last pussy on your way down so your trifecta of political, social and sexual humiliation is complete.

4. You somehow achieve a level of self-aware sentience that lets you finally realize that the entire world is laughing at you.

5. Once you fully comprehend the consequences of your catastrophic failings as a human being, you finally get the councelling you so desperately need. And that your insurance covers it.

Grab 'em by the premiums

I keep thinking NOW we've reached the ultimate low for the man-boy administration. Mocking a disabled reporter. Bragging about sexually assaulting women. Blatantly lying about an audit preventing him from releasing his taxes. Mounting evidence that he's colluding with Russia. More FBI investigations than we can keep track of. The exorbitant taxpayer costs of his endless golf vacations and dysfunctional marriage. Machinations to undermine the First Amendment. Flouting endless laws and safeguards and conventions designed to prevent financial conflicts of interest. Mike Pence. Proudly flailing around in a cloud of political and historical ignorance. Desperate attempts to discredit the media and blame Obama for his own catastrophic failings.

And now this.

What bottomless holes will he drive us into next week?

Nobody

"I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me."
"Nobody knows the system better than I do."
"I know more about contributions than anybody."
"Nobody knows politicians better than Donald Trump."
"I know our complex tax laws better than anyone who has ever run for president and I am the only one who can fix them."
"Nobody knows more about trade than me."
"Nobody knows jobs like I do!"
"Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump."
"There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am."
"Because nobody knows the system better than me. I know the H1B. I know the H2B. Nobody knows it better than me."
"Nobody knows banking better than I do."
"I understand money better than anybody. I understand it far better than Hillary, and I'm way up on the economy when it comes to questions on the economy."
"So a general gets on, sent obviously by Obama, and he said, 'Mr. Trump doesn't understand. He knows nothing about defense.' I know more about offense and defense than they will ever understand, believe me. Believe me. Than they will ever understand. Than they will ever understand."
"I understand the tax laws better than almost anyone, which is why I'm the one who can truly fix them."

“This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.”