Shithole Genius’ tweet library is like the Hallmark aisle at Nevergonnabuildthewallgreens

I just got a call from Monmouth University Polling Institute,

It's one of the country’s leading heavyweight polling organizations. I’ve never been polled at this depth before. The questions were nuanced and focused and let me lead with my knowledge and opinions instead of the general and useless yes/no/like/dislike questions most half-assed polls ask. When I was in advertising, many of our clients insisted on using general-feelings polls that gathered zero actionable information WHICH FRUSTRATED THE HELL OUT OF US AS AN AGENCY because they gave us zero to work with when we needed to articulate demographic profiles and map out communication strategies. But I digress.

The point I’m trying to make here is I just told the person on the phone that trump is a shithole and I’ve single-handedly brought down his presidency and you’re all welcome.

You had me at “big stupid dictator playdate"

And then again at “HA HA hashtag sad.”

Today’s epic shit show would be deliciously funny if it weren’t about OUR BIG FUCKING ARROGANT CORRUPT RACIST INEPT IGNORANT ENTITLED SHITHOLE MAN-BOY PRESIDENT. And, by extension, all the big fucking arrogant, morally corrupt, racist, proudly ignorant shithole congresspeople and talking heads and voters who still obstinately defend him.

I loathe this lying, belligerent, clumsily manipulative, passive-aggressive, hypocritical shithole woman SO MUCH

FIXED IT

When I bold-caps-reverse-Comic-Sans MY staggeringly insincere condolences over the death of someone who has devoted his life to serving our country, I always end them with an exclamation point too

Oh—and I ALWAYS INCLUDE A PHOTO OF MYSELF.

Karma can be a dick

And if you’re going to use big-boy technology like Twitter, ask a random toddler to show you how to rotate photos first. Shithole.

Flashback Friday: Fuckshit Edition

Has it been only a year? Here's what I wrote a year ago today to the puerile, diaper-shitting man-boy "president" of the party that just demanded "civility" from the thinking public: 

Judging from the comments on these posts, this is the epitome of tone and content that inflames the euphoric passions and defiant allegiances of your desperately subnormal base.

BUT YOU ARE UNFORTUNATELY FOR ALL OF US THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, and your lack of capacity for shame, judgment, maturity, impulse control, intelligence, ability and rudimentary adult behavior has turned our country into an international laughingstock that through what's left of our influence and economy is endangering political, financial and social systems around the world. You have a congress working overtime to strip affordable, vital healthcare from millions of poor sick people simply because it was given to them by a black man. You haven't bothered to fill hundreds of essential governmental positions from your cabinet to our country's global ambassadorships, which became an embarrassing liability when seven of our sailors were recently killed in a ship collision just outside of Japan. Your press secretary has escalated from literally hiding in bushes to escape the press that HE WAS HIRED TO ADDRESS to now banning cameras at the press briefings he manages to bumble through, while your congress has now blocked the press from talking to them in hallways. You keep deflecting the catastrophic failures you precipitate every time you breathe as "I inherited a mess" and you scream FAKE NEWS! like an uncontrollably shitting toddler every time your failures are brought to light. And instead of pulling yourself away from your grueling schedule of completely ignoring your wives and kids to fix any of this to the best of your feeble abilities, you tweet insults and gossip as though doing so were mature, appropriate, relevant, true or apparently in your disease-ravaged mind presidential.

Smart people hate you. Educated people hate you. Aware people hate you. Literate people hate you. Entire international populations hate you. The only people left who love or at best tolerate you are pants-wetting cretins who see their empty, meaningless, ugly, unfathomably stupid lives reflected in you.

Shithole trump and his shithole shitholes were in Cedar Rapids a year ago today

pretending to be Americans, pretending to be patriots, pretending to be informed, pretending to be smart. I just wish they were pretending to be alive as well.

And OF COURSE they're carrying goddamn confederate flags. Because American "patriots" ALWAYS support an anti-American army that was defeated by America.

I made a meme!

We interrupt your daily shitstorm to bring you this ...

Tomi is a lazy drag queen’s name

Proposed taglines for trump.dating

StrKKKts only!
Taking sheep breeding to the next level!
Swipe Reich!
Take a break from inbreeding!
Have sex for less than $130 million!
Three-wife limit!
Where “happily married people” count as “local singles”!
Date local married singles!
Grab him by the bone spur!
Red hats, white sheets and who cares if you’re already married?
A new way to fuck the whole country!
Where it doesn’t matter how small your hands are!
I do-tard!
Where shitholes meet!

Some not-so-quiet conversation

Shithole shit

I'm ancestrally from Norway

but I count myself as being from THIS country, where we desperately need to wipe out our Shithole Genius and flush him away so we can undo all the shithole things he's done.

Shithole Genius is about to shout NEGRO! Or something.