Yup

I still can't decide if I should be appalled or amused--or somehow a combination of both--that Stable Genius actually said "my crimes." That puerile man-boy is too stupid to wipe his own ass.

synecdoche (sin EK doe key)

noun: a metaphor using part of something to represent the whole of something or vice versa

examples:

FACT: Donald Trump is a belligerent, puerile man-boy who doesn't know anything about anything; arrogantly thinks he can fake his way through everything; and spends his empty, appallingly entitled life sending meaningless, childish tweets, lying about his ongoing treason, ignoring his many wives and children, insulting and repulsing other countries to the point of diplomatic alienation, screaming FAKE NEWS! like an uncontrollably shitting toddler, and destroying America for his own financial gain.

SYNECDOCHE: The current White House is an international embarrassment.

Stable Genius is in Iowa today

In totally unrelated news, I just had a huge basket of high-fiber bran muffins for breakfast.

Nineteen—NINETEEN!—Democratic Presidential nominees are in my home town right now

They're here to hold individual rallies and then a civilized, intelligent, productive, meaningful debate at our US Cellular Center this afternoon. I just walked through our beautiful downtown from the Pete Buttegieg rally to the street outside the convention center where the supporters of each candidate are joyfully chanting and cheering and holding signs and high-fiving everyone who walks by—including me in my BOOT EDGE EDGE shirt—and I’ve never been prouder to be a Cedar Rapidian and a progressive and a citizen of a country that DOES have hope and DOES have joy and DOES embrace civic responsibility and DOES FINALLY SEE A WAY OUT OF THIS HELLISH DOTARD NUCLEAR DUMPSTER FIRE.

Speaking of, the last time man-boy dotard stable genius brokeahontis held an emotionally needy rally here, I stood in this exact same spot and watched multiple people walk by me carrying Confederate and Nazi flags on their way in. I don’t even have to point out that there are none here today.

Shoebiz.

Graphic designers + the Internet give me hope for the future of humanity

Fashion PS to Melanie: Love the illusion neckline, hate the oven mitts.

Oops! Oops! Oops!

Good morning!

Achomlishments

You had me at “big stupid dictator playdate"

And then again at “HA HA hashtag sad.”

Today’s epic shit show would be deliciously funny if it weren’t about OUR BIG FUCKING ARROGANT CORRUPT RACIST INEPT IGNORANT ENTITLED SHITHOLE MAN-BOY PRESIDENT. And, by extension, all the big fucking arrogant, morally corrupt, racist, proudly ignorant shithole congresspeople and talking heads and voters who still obstinately defend him.

I made a meme!

I fucking hate this racist man-boy shithole

Poor Deplorable Diane

She’s neither almost halfway to understanding math nor almost halfway to writing sentences that represent rudimentary American English. She should really go back to her country so we can build a wall to keep her kind out.

Remember a year ago when Derp Fuhrer couldn't spell the media he whines 25/8 about?

He's been absolutely smockin' on his spelling tests since then.

OMG

Smocking. Gun. Smocking Gun.

It's absurd! It's deranged! It's ...

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Makin' bullshit hit the fan

Foolin' no one with his tan

Looks like mushrooms from a can

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Pussy-grabber in a van

From five drafts cow-ard-ly ran

Broke Commandments One through Tan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Naked porno wife Melan

Inbred-smelling child-er-an

Creepy, sleazy family clan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Thinks the Jews wrote the Koran

Once read Two Corinthian

Evangelic Taliban

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Scared of far-off caravan

Wants an immigration ban

Mexico won't serve him flan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Can't tell China from Japan

Vlad'mir Putin super-fan

Laughingstock of Kazakhstan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Crippled trade without a plan

Killed business American

Epic failure presidan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

KKK republican

Middle name should be treasan

Benedict American

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Blames Obama where he can

Or blames Hill-a-ry Clintan

Shitty po-li-ti-ci-an

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Picked a fight with John McCan

John McCan had secret plan

Tariff Man got funeral ban

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

No one bankrupts like he can

All his budgets overran

Cor-rupt can’t-make-deals moran

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Tweets while he sits on the can

Holds his bottles with two han

Probably likes Comic San

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Gets his "news" from Fox & Fran

Has-been celeb fan Roseanne

The Apprentice also-ran

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

One-second attention span

He just can’t when others can

Too late for abortian

But that puzzle that said 4 years on the box? He finished it in TWO MONTHS.

FIXED IT

OH NY GOODMESS THIS IS FUMMY