Oops! Oops! Oops!

It's been a whole year now

How's that early-and-active-opiod-prioritizing bullshit going for you and your man-boy messiah, you opportunistic, lying sack of shit?

OMG

Three things:

1. I got measured and X-rayed and gross-stuff-teeth-molded this afternoon for a dental device that’s supposed to alleviate my sleep apnea and finally LET ME GET A DAMN NIGHT’S SLEEP. I hate to brag—oh, let’s not kid ourselves ... I TOTALLY love to brag—but one of the measurements the doctor took today was qualified as Class 1. I’m CLASS ONE, PEOPLE.

2. Then I went to physical therapy for my damn hip. The PT videotaped my running gait and then slowed it down to analyze it, and it turns out my running stride defaults to my legs crossing over in front of each other like I’m dominating a Paris runway like an uberfierce supermodel. (That last bit of imagery may or may not have been mine and not the PT’s.) In any case, I apparently now need to focus on running with a And gait that keeps my feet under my shoulders. WHICH FEELS LIKE I’M PLAYING HOPSCOTCH ON THE BED OF A MOVING HAY TRUCK. This is going to take some effort.

3. I’m starting to get the feeling that trump is a lying, delusional, kick-in-the-ballsworthy piece of donkey shit.

Mike Pence sure is a greedy bottom

First he says he wants all his gays “hung” and now he’s selfishly trying to eliminate all the bottom competition.

True Christians have a phrase for lying

#TenCommandments

Pence will hurl anything he finds in his diaper at Constitutionally protected freedoms and basic human decency

More pathological Republican moral hypocrisy

Read about the piece of shit here ... if you even need to

I'm not even going to read this article or google this subhuman filth to check my facts before I state with absolute certainty that this abortion-demanding adulterer has repeatedly barked out his allegiance to the following tiredly predictable, ultimately meaningless party-line positions designed to inflame the passions of his ignorant, uneducated voter base:
* pro-family
* pro-marriage
* pro-sanctity-of-marriage
* pro-"religious liberty" (which we all know is pathetically lazy code for "we hate the gays")
* pro-life (yet pro-assault-weapon)
* pro-ten-commandments
* anti-abortion
* pro-"this is a personal matter, don't ask me any questions, show some respect for my family and personal life"

Whatever your name is, you interchangeable republican moral hypocrite, I hate you. I hope today's comprehensively unsurprising revelations cause you and everyone you love ten times the staggering, crushing pain that you and your words and your votes and your sociopolitical influence have inflicted on every gay person and every terrified pregnant woman and every victim of gun violence in this country.

Is there a word that's stronger than "loathing"?

Pretty. Bad. Dudes.

This -- THIS! -- is the best childish, inarticulate, desperately vague justification our "modern day presidential" psychopathic failure of a president can cough up on today's flip-flop double-down assertion that peaceful anti-racist protesters are somehow responsible for the murder and destruction premeditatedly wrought by his racist followers who he emboldened and encouraged to slither out from under their fetid piles of shit.

Pretty. Bad. Dudes.

It's Donald Trump at his finest and most statesmanlike, ladies and gentlemen.

85. Year. Old.

"85 year old" is the most meaningful, relevant compound adjective you could come up with to describe a racist convicted criminal in a tweet you send just as the biggest, potentially most deadly hurricane to hit American soil in over a decade makes landfall?

#PieceOfShit

PIECE. OF. SHIT.

We all knew your "additional remarks" were nothing but bullshit that you were cornered into saying only because you got called out for the initial meaningless piece-of-shit nothing you vomited up when you finally bothered addressing the nation this weekend.

We knew your "additional remarks" were bullshit that was written for you the second you said "egregious," a word you neither know nor understand but you ironically ARE in everything you think and say and do.

And now you're trying -- and failing, as always -- to turn your grotesque, arrogant, meaningless failure into victimhood. Which is tacit -- another word you're too arrogantly stupid to know -- admission that you didn't mean a word you said.

Die already. Painfully. Violently. Humiliatingly. Just die. You owe us.

They're claiming you as their messiah

And now they're expecting you to deliver on the promises they clearly heard you make.

All that hate stands for

You're not even REMOTELY smart enough to extricate yourself from the hate you've worked over a year to create and feed and now watch explode violently in our country and our world. This emasculated shithead attempt -- on a meaningless TWEET -- to urge the nation you pathologically divided to "come together" is as worthless and contemptible and worthy of extermination as you are.

Typo. Fixed it.

#Sad

"Sexual stuff"

Sigh. Christians sure have drained all the courtly romance out of sexually exploiting drug-addicted minors. They've made statutory rape and revolting hypocrisy nothing more than an exercise in cold, unfeeling efficiency. It's just sad.

Via JoeMyGod: Start burning your bibles here

He's not gonna climb the ladder to heaven with his hands full of penis

Via Towleroad: Feign your surprise here

Steve King's race to the bottom of the shithole

Read about the piece of shit here

Steve King does not represent white people, does not represent Iowans and does not represent rational thought on any level.

Despite the environment of prejudice and contempt and malice that he and his crawling-out-of-the-woodwork ilk are working overtime to establish, we -- the educated, benevolent, magnanimous class -- have allies of every color and every nationality who celebrate and treasure and nurture the diversity that turns our differences into a gloriously multifaceted ONE. We strive to see color and nationality and race (though I always hesitate to use that word because from my perspective it seems to be an artificial construct invented specifically to create an intellectual and cultural barrier between white Europeans and black Africans to justify slavery and cruelty and the belief that black people were in some measurable way inferior to white people) for what it brings to our larger humanity while we also strive to look past it and just to see people instead of color and nationality and (despite the previous parenthetical I still always feel like I need to explain myself when I use this word) race.

To me, the genuinely inferior people are those who -- especially in the Information Age -- are surrounded by facts and knowledge and good, decent, intelligent, live-by-example people but still choose to be racist. And when they stand tall and loud and proud in their racism like Steve King, they reveal themselves to be the low and empty and subhuman feculence they claim to hate in other people.