It's absurd! It's deranged! It's ...

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Makin' bullshit hit the fan

Foolin' no one with his tan

Looks like mushrooms from a can

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Pussy-grabber in a van

From five drafts cow-ard-ly ran

Broke Commandments One through Tan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Naked porno wife Melan

Inbred-smelling child-er-an

Creepy, sleazy family clan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Thinks the Jews wrote the Koran

Once read Two Corinthian

Evangelic Taliban

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Scared of far-off caravan

Wants an immigration ban

Mexico won't serve him flan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Can't tell China from Japan

Vlad'mir Putin super-fan

Laughingstock of Kazakhstan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Crippled trade without a plan

Killed business American

Epic failure presidan

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

KKK republican

Middle name should be treasan

Benedict American

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Blames Obama where he can

Or blames Hill-a-ry Clintan

Shitty po-li-ti-ci-an

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Picked a fight with John McCan

John McCan had secret plan

Tariff Man got funeral ban

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

No one bankrupts like he can

All his budgets overran

Cor-rupt can’t-make-deals moran

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Tweets while he sits on the can

Holds his bottles with two han

Probably likes Comic San

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

Gets his "news" from Fox & Fran

Has-been celeb fan Roseanne

The Apprentice also-ran

Tariff Man! Tariff Man!

One-second attention span

He just can’t when others can

Too late for abortian

Asses, asses and more asses

Read all about these asses and their asses here

I find myself having a difficult time caring about these two self-absorbed asses and what they're about to face, but I am worried that the evangelical American Taliban will blow this story into a rallying cry around this "proof" that all gay people are perverted degenerates who brazenly commit "religious insults" (because -- for the purposes of this one specific news-cycle outrage -- the American Taliban will suddenly become VERY concerned about the cultural sensitivities of foreign religions) and then dotard will opportunistically climb on board to get points for hating gays AND punishing them -- though, as always, he'll have zero influence on anything to do with their punishment or anything else in the world for that matter -- and his shit-drooling minions will be emboldened to exhibit even more hate toward even more people in this pervasively toxic political environment he and his mouth-breathing orbit continue to breed, grope and propagate.