IT’S VOTING DAY!

Happy #Hallowmeme!

WHY ARE THESE CRETINS SO ENDLESSLY FREAKING WEIRD?

My money's on end-stage syphilis.

It’s really hard to stop mocking these people

They look like they're going to an antebellum cotillion. Or a slave auction.

5 days until #Hallowmeme!

When your lie says “cute pic that our friends just sent us”

but your reflective glasses say “this is a selfie because we have no friends"

It’s like their props department has only one shirt for them to wear when they get cast as extras in movies about people pretending to care about stuff

I may be blackout dizzy, but I haven’t lost my capacity to be grammar bitchy

"possible"

I made some memes ...

I'm a professional fashion writer. Do not try this at home.

Tiers of polka-dot chiffon tulle flutter like wispy cotton-candy nothingness next to Ivanka in an ugly fucking dress. ‬

DO NOT CONGRATULATE IVANKA FOR MATCHING HER DISPOSABLE LAB GLOVES TO HER HOT TOPIC EYESHADOW

Guess which two people in this horror movie just filed for divorce

My money's on Jared next

But instead of shouting BINGO! when he's out, I'm gonna shout GAYFACE!

Good morning!

The heartbreak of shitty Q-Ratings

Christmas gifts or Christmas jifts:

Battling autocorrect for the sake of a cheap pun while clearing the last of the unposted holiday memes from my phone