RIP John Kelly

Extreme Vetting + Only The Best People still hasn’t given us a bingo though.

And shouldn’t this be in 3D so they can put bars over the Best People going to prison?

Who wants cookies?

How is Tillerson gone before Punchable Face Kushner?

My actuarials must be off.

My money's on Jared next

But instead of shouting BINGO! when he's out, I'm gonna shout GAYFACE!

Mommy!

Shouldn't Pence's boy-haircutted wife be glued to his side to protect him and his unholy man-urges from that not-his-wife seductive woman standing mere feet from him?

The Celebrity Appresident!

Crooked H?

How is destroying a phone with a hammer obstruction? You're never gonna make "bleached emails" happen. Your AG apparently can't remember the last time he went to the bathroom, but he definitely knows he didn't talk about Russia in two meetings he doesn't remember being in. And I'd enjoy watching your arrogant delusions come crashing down and eating you alive a whole lot more if you hadn't stolen my rap name.

I'm pretty sure someone you know spent the day lying by omission too

In fact, he dodged whole sessions of questions.

"It makes me nervous."

It turns out that pretending to forget everything that ever happened to you is extra-annoying when you lie it with a Southern elf accent.

Pocahontas? Again? Is that the best ya got, man-boy?

It's the same barely-insult that wasn't clever and didn't stick but was the best your puerile, bellicose little brain could come up with on the campaign trail so you kept pathetically parroting yourself as informed people mocked you and your willfully ignorant, easily manipulated base roared and cheered in approval while secretly hoping their mindless bellowing made it look like they had any idea what you were talking about because Elizabeth Warren wasn't Hillary Clinton and they didn't have enough firepower to lemmingly hate more than one intelligent, powerful woman at a time, no doubt in part because you didn't have the firepower to explain to them why you were kinda sure you thought they should.

And now months and months and months have passed and Elizabeth Warren is still intelligent and powerful and you can't even focus long enough to read and fully understand even the most glaring potential ramifications of an executive order before you sign it and she's using words and phrases and research and history and critical thinking and a conspicuous understanding of the Constitution to simply and procedurally and correctly and Constitutionally voice her objections to your bullshit racist lackey psycho clear-and-present-danger-just-like-you Cabinet appointments and the best your clueless, whiny, erectile-dysfunctiony, mortifyingly-to-smart-people unpresidential self can do in response is dig up your stupid barely-insult that wasn't clever and didn't stick on the campaign trail hundreds of news cycles ago and try desperately to try and make yourself look clever and insightful and laser-precision on-narrative by using it again.

Smart people intimidate you. Women terrify you. The Constitution confuses you. Diplomacy escapes you. Your own bullheaded isolationist nationalism doesn't apply to you. But clearly and presently your petulant, narcissistic, self-aggrandizing desperation for validation drives you.

And it makes you fucking pathetic.

LINK: Trump to Dems: 'Pocahontas is now the face of your party'