Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Oh, C4 pre-workout energy drink: 

We are finally reunited after my months-long system cleanse from your mysteriously electrifying, limb-shaking, skin-tingling powers. I have missed your Robitussiny attempt at blue raspberry flavor and the preternatural semi-opacity in which you hide your unholy alchemy. But you are now back in my life on your new rotation into my morning workouts, your possibly emasculating niaciny chemicals are coursing through my unwitting veins ... and my shoulders are somehow the only part of me covered in flop sweat. Welcome home!

In related news that will impress exactly nobody but me, as of this morning I am officially deadlifting 5x10 sets of 185 lbs. Rowr!

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