Three Potential Area Rugs And Some Badass Camo Cargo Shorts You WISH You Were Cool Enough To Wear: A Study In Blues

Whew. My bedroom project is ALL DONE.

I decided to paint a super-perfectly-awesomely-straight stripe along the floor blue instead of spreading blue all over those big walls.

Now that that’s all over: DAY DRINKING!

Blue. I think I'll paint the walls blue.

Celebrity taste maven, international MySpace influencer and insightful friend Matt came over this weekend and helped me FINALLY narrow my ocean of blue paint chips—which numbered in the 50s when I started collecting options almost two years ago—from the ten I’d narrowed it to on my own down to a SINGLE WINNING COLOR (which ended up being called Chinese Porcelain, which sent us into paroxysms of delight because it gave us now our THIRD unexpected opportunity to use our favorite hyper-masculine decorator-bro term: Chinoiserie).

So I just bought two gallons of custom-tinted Chinese Porcelain eggshell paint after work without giving myself room for a second of second thought and I slapped some of it around my bedroom door frames when I got home to check it out—not that it matters at this point—and SHIT JUST GOT REAL, FAM!

FREE SALES LESSON TO THE DUDE BEHIND THE MENARDS PAINT COUNTER: If you’re going to instantly try to upsell me to a different brand of paint and I respond with the extremely logical and not-to-be-unexpected-by-anyone-who’s-not-dead question “What’s the difference?” you need to be ready to demonstrate that YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. And when I try to save you from your deer-in-the-headlights hemming and hawing and stuttering by asking which you’d recommend, JUST MAKE UP A FUCKING ANSWER IF YOU HAVE NO PROFESSIONAL KNOWLEDGE OR OPINION. And if you still insist on being that stupid, at least have the common courtesy to be hot. Sheesh.

Also: “One-coat paint” is and always will be a dirty stinking LIE. You know it. I know it. We both know I know you know it. SO STOP SAYING IT.

My ablution station may or may not on purpose be assembled in coordinated spectrums of blues and whites

CedaRound: Glowing Skywalk Edition

The skywalk over 3rd Street SE looks like it extends forever when its blue-indigo-violet lighting spectrum reflects into the windows of the Town Centre Building at night.

Oh, C4 pre-workout energy drink:

We are finally reunited after my months-long system cleanse from your mysteriously electrifying, limb-shaking, skin-tingling powers. I have missed your Robitussiny attempt at blue raspberry flavor and the preternatural semi-opacity in which you hide your unholy alchemy. But you are now back in my life on your new rotation into my morning workouts, your possibly emasculating niaciny chemicals are coursing through my unwitting veins ... and my shoulders are somehow the only part of me covered in flop sweat. Welcome home!

In related news that will impress exactly nobody but me, as of this morning I am officially deadlifting 5x10 sets of 185 lbs. Rowr!