Sunday, June 03, 2018

My car is now scrubbed and vacuumed and carpet de-spotted and so pristine-as-Wonder-Bread clean that none of you gross dirty people will ever be allowed even to look at it again

Speaking of gross dirty people, I was scrubbing so much grimy-looking black stuff off the knob of my stick shift (oh, stop giggling and grow up) that I’d reluctantly come to the conclusion that my hands are environmentally toxic petroleum-sludge factories ... only to discover to my horror that I’d actually been scrubbing the entire plastic finish off of my knob (I said STOP GIGGLING) and exposing the raw, dense foam underneath, which will now no doubt start crumbling in the sun and heat.
Well, shit.

But! Once I was finished rubbing the hell out of my knob (seriously ... do you people need a time out?) I drove to Iowa Running Company in NewBo to cash in a $10 coupon I had and get some new running shoes. I was fitted for Brooks Adrenaline running shoes 15 years ago because they offered the specific stabilization and gait correction I needed, and they’ve successfully taken me at 100 miles per pair through 7 marathons and 20+ half marathons since then. I’ve loved everything about them ... except their relentless, soul-crushing grayness. Most running shoes come out in exciting new colors each season, but Brooks Adrenalines are always drearily, predictably gray with blue accents, then drearily, predictably gray with another shade of blue accents then drearily, predictably gray with (ladies, hold your children) gray accents. NOT THIS YEAR, THOUGH! I am now living, breathing proof that the world does nothing but get more exciting, because this season’s Brooks Adrenalines are ... enticingly-not-gray black with enticingly sparkly gold accents:
And that’s a shift I can stick with.

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