Boy Meets Boy and Queer Eye with Paul and Mike tonight.

The first show is inherently cruel, but it's the first "reality" dating show I've ever deigned to watch -- and I'm FASCINATED. Train-wreck clichés notwithstanding, the whole thing is a mess. But some of the boys are totally cute, and I find myself rooting for James to find True Love ... or at least to wrap those sexy legs around someone's neck and let me watch. And who knew the show's nelliest queen would claim to be straight when he got dumped?

The second show is the best thing on television. I love Queer Eye -- it makes me laugh, it makes me double-check each morning to make sure I don't have a nose hair problem, and it has already inspired me to exfoliate every day AND paint my kitchen. Gay men have been mocked and teased and told how to act by straight guys for generations. It's way about time we turned the tables -- and got to be fabulous while doing it. But the breeders may have the last laugh; the show has become an opportunity for slovenly straight guys to get a bunch of fags to come over and clean their houses for them. Free.