Oh, nothing

Just sitting here taking a plain old unremarkable rehearsal selfie.

Move along. Mind your business.

Too darn

I’d like to sup with my baby today.
Refill the cup with my baby today.

Why am I in an electric chair?

A. I ran out of gas for my gas-powered chair.
B. I wore white before Memorial Day.
C. I’m not. I’m just getting my hair did.
D. NOT. GEELTEE.
E. It’s more comfortable than the nuclear chair.
F. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO END THIS 12-DAY HEADACHE.
G. You’ll have to come to Ripcord at Theatre Cedar Rapids and find out for yourself now, won’t you?

I managed to wear a pair of gym shorts today that are the exact shade of black polyester to spotlight just how pasty-white-Easter-ham-pink my legs are

Plus I’m wearing a shirt that might as well come with a name tag that says “Hello! My Name is Gay Gayerthanyou!”

Fortunately, there’s all but literally nobody here for me to horrify. Unfortunately, I am NOT in the mood to work out, and being surrounded by tons of other people working out usually keeps me focused and accountable.

So here we are.

Think of it as thrift ... as a gift ...

40 years ago tonight, Broadway theater audiences first attended the tale of a vindictive, murderous barber, learned the words lavabo and reticule, realized that nothing rhymes with locksmith, split both literal and figurative hairs between flaxen and blonde, discovered that coriander makes the gravy grander, agreed that poppin' pussies into pies is perhaps the very definition of enterprise, and didn't feel one bit sorry for that crazy hag Lucy because it was Mrs. Lovett who had made his arm complete again after all those years.

Happy anniversary, Sweeney Todd! I can’t come to your party tonight, but I’ll come again when you have judge on the menu.

I worry that we’re creating unhealthy body-image issues here for both women and men, but I can’t think that right now because I got a show to do!

Also: Super-cute Snoopy rainbow shirt!

September morn

We danced until the night
Became a brand new day.
Two lovers playing scenes
From some romantic play.
September morning
Still can make me feel that way.

The week in memes

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

June is pride month for most cities, but Cedar Rapids has our pride fest in July out of sisterly courtesy to Chicago so they don’t lose out to us on all the good parade float rentals. (YOU’RE WELCOME.) But somebody wasn’t so considerate and beat us out on the readable-size pride-fest banner we’ve hung over our entrance. Ours may be slightly small, but it’s just as mightily jubilant.

Pre-work car selfie gymnastics

Snoopy shoes! Mickey ink! Cargo shorts! (Shut up.) But more importantly: Clean car -- I seem to have finally fully eradicated the effluvium of clumsiness lingering judgingly from the catastrophic Great Protein Shake Explosion of 2017. #Progress!

Act 1, Scenes 1-3

I just finished our first rehearsal. And it turns out that acting isn't just words and pointing and smiling through your step-touches and saying instantly viral yet endearingly timeless catchphrases that can generate lucrative licensing revenue in perpetuity. No -- acting is kind of difficult. And kind of exposed. I may have to work a bit at this.

Also: rainbow Snoopy shirt

September morn

We danced until the night
Became a brand new day.
Two lovers playing scenes
From some romantic play.
September morning
Still can make me feel that way.