Oh, nothing

Just sitting here taking a plain old unremarkable rehearsal selfie.

Move along. Mind your business.

Oh, nothing. Just having après-run le déjeuner alfresco IN ACTUAL PARIS.

What are you up to?

Oh, nothing

Just not-fiber-eating at our My Fair Lady opening-night party with the Lady to my Lord Boxington after our STANDING OVATION.

How’s YOUR night?

Oh, nothing

Just sitting on a panel of judges draconianly judging the team names and uniforms for two separate middle-school and high-school dodgeball tournaments, and no doubt destroying uncountable spirits, hopes and dreams along the way. I am DRUNK! WITH! POWER!

How’s YOUR pathetically-meaningless-by-comparison Saturday morning?

Oh, nothing. Just hanging out in my little neck of the woods.

Oh, nothing

Just hanging out with some girls from the office. What are you up to?

Oh, nothing

Just wiping the last of the slavish devotion that got all over me during my 2,000-seat standing ovation. How was YOUR night?

And how sweet is this hockey gig? We wait in our lavishly appointed dressing room sipping complimentary RC products and getting unlimited tarot readings until we’re summoned to star in the second-to-last number, catch our breath during the last number, and then soak up cheering applause in my beloved Paramount Theatre as Orchestra Iowa plays a robustly joyful “Sleigh Ride” mere feet behind us. Just getting to stand on the Paramount stage is all I need to brighten my whole week ... but RC PRODUCTS TOO?

Also, how adorable is my mom’s childhood toy Rudolph (or maybe it’s just a charmingly disfigured dog — the jury’s still out) that we recently found buried in a box of stuff and added to our standard under-tree decoration collection? It’s twice as old as I am, but we both still look 28 — which is more like 25 when we’re not in the direct glare of the tree lights.

Oh, nothing

Just coming down from the rush of our opening-night standing ovation. It's just me and my mustache and this box of pregnancy pillows all basking in the delicious afterglow together.

How was YOUR night?

Oh, nothing

Just hanging out with my lobby girlfriend (I have a lobby girlfriend) after my standing ovation. How was YOUR afternoon?