Showing posts with label decorations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decorations. Show all posts

Monday, December 02, 2019

Pay no attention to the junk piled behind the tree that I didn't notice you could see when I took this picture with my phone

Well hello, long-hibernating tabletop tree that I bought for Shoebox Manor—my first elfin Chicago apartment—and that eventually became our dining-room tree when my ex and I bought our palatial two-tree-accommodating condo. I finally rescued the tree when I liquidated my storage unit this summer, and at last its branches are complete again in their mélange of silver, white and cornflower blue ornaments, ribbons and besequined birds artfully curated to complement our old Wedgewood dining room. The palette doesn’t quite work with my mom’s Rustic Kountree Krafts décor, but I choose to squint and pretend it does. Plus I did a sloppy job perching the birds on the branches so I’ll have to edit some pokey-outy feathered tails at a later date.

I wasn’t really in the mood for Christmas carols, but I found an old Chicago playlist so I decorated the tree to the dulcet—and wistfully nostalgic—tones of Beautiful Day, Ray of Light, Around the World, Bad Romance, Get Lucky, Single Ladies, Whispering Your Name and other regular-rotation players from the soundtrack of my old life. The combination of my Chicago tree and my Chicago tunes put me in a mood I’m not sure I’m ready to be in, but the corner is dusted and vacuumed, the tree is up, and all that’s left to do is figure out where I hid my timer so the lights will automatically be on every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up.

Speaking of going to bed ... good night!

Monday, October 07, 2019

Apparently I’m going through a skulls phase

And a Día de los Muertos Mariachi phase:
Times dos:
And a single-parent-ghost-family phase:
Do not be afraid.

Monday, September 02, 2019

IT. IS. TIME. (Though. It. Is. Still. Not. Totally. Done.)

But the clutter is cleared (read: pushed up against the walls) and the bed is made and the red throw pillows are pilfered from the couch to mask how wrinkly the pillowcases are but don’t for a second believe that I’m a bed-throw-pillow kind of gay because NO and the photo is artfully composed and cropped and edited and I’M SLEEPING IN MY OWN BED TONIGHT!

Sunday, September 01, 2019

One corner of the bedroom is DONE! Maybe.

1. When you coincidentally buy pieces of décor that look like they were made to go exactly together, it is pre-ordained by a mountain of cruel, angry gods that THEY WILL NEVER LINE UP.
2. If you buy something with patterned cutouts laid over mirror, get used to living with clouds of oily smudges or learn to decorate for distraction.
3. When you discover the evidence of a lifetime predilection for buying Francophile wall hangings and Eiffel Tower objets d’art, group them proudly and enjoy them over les casse-croûte of French toast and Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
4. Yes, that is Prince Albert in a can.

Friday, August 09, 2019

Shit

Yesterday was International Cat Day, but I couldn’t find Bitch Kitty to take a picture of her to post. Please enjoy these flowers instead:

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Sunday, January 27, 2019

When you FINALLY put away the Christmas decorations in your bedroom and bring out your regular decorations and rediscover that you’re a bit of a Francophile

Also: Covet my freshly polished, super-awesome bookshelf built from remnant wood by my homebuilder great-grandfather!

Also: My beanbag juggling cows have started yet another year (decade?) being shelf decorations instead of teaching me how to juggle.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Goodbye for now, obscene amounts of Christmas crap!

I’ve finally gotten you culled and organized enough to pack you away with a passable amount of OCD compliance. I feel a nagging compulsion to buy all matching bins next year so you look less overwhelming when you’re put away again. But as an imagined need, that would be even more obscene. So I won’t even bring it up.

We sure have some creepy ornaments

And some breathtakingly-adorable-child-picture ornaments. And, curiously but still admittedly Christmasy, a shapely-woman-wearing-a-tasseled-hanging-hook-and-beveling-in-an-unmissably-red-dress ornament. And, for reasons known only to the tooth fairy, a wooden bunny ornament. A wooden Christmas bunny ornament.
But, of course, the only reason I'm making this post—aside from finally exposing the Christmas terrors of my haunted, haunted childhood wrought by our creepy pantsless flat-handed pantyhose-head child-eating demon elf ornaments—is to report that I have just now, almost in time for an Easter visit from a wooden Christmas bunny, completely denuded our Christmas tree.

Dude. I totally just said denuded.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Gee, I wish I was able to see my nephew

If our Christmas brunch were White Christmas, I’d be Major General Thomas F. Waverly, our centerpiece would be a totally-real-looking, four-foot-tall, completely-stage-blocking tiered cake decorated with 12" tapered candles, and my nephew would be a stupid and instantly forgettable musical about the military featuring hundreds of soldiers who secretly came to my failing hotel in the dead of night SPECIFICALLY FOR ME TO SEE.

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

S ... C ... R ...

You don’t really realize how loudly the cat scrapes her poop around in her litter box until you’re working quietly from home and suddenly SCRAPE SCRAPE THAT’S ALL SCRAPE YOU SCRAPE SCRAPE CAN HEAR SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE.

SCRAPE.
The litter box is hidden out of sight through that door over my right shoulder. That ugly quilt hanging on the wall is somehow on-purpose on display in our family room.

SCRAPE.