Monday, October 13, 2003

Jake's Celebrity Weekend!

Yesterday it was my afternoon with the self-involved Calvin Klein underwear model. Tonight it was my evening with Jason Priestly at the gala premiere of his campy new movie, Die, Mommy, Die.

We got free tickets for the premiere last night at rehearsal -- and Jeff and I went because hey, free movie! I'd also heard Die, Mommy, Die is funny, and it really is. It's an intentionally (I hope) schlocky homage to overwrought 1960s family dramas complete with a scenery-chewing faded diva (in this case, a man in drag), hilariously bad dialogue and lots of convoluted plot twists. And -- BONUS! -- there's a ton of homoeroticism ... and two cute actors (Mr. Priestly included) and two mega-hunky extras who show more than a little skin.

We didn't realize Jason would be in attendance when we snatched up our free tickets, but there he was, standing all of his three feet tall at the back of the theater. And when the Q&A started after the movie, he was just as dumb as I'd imagined he'd be. (It didn't help that he was fed some stoopid questions by the audience, including the requisite gee-you-sure-are-brave-to-kiss-a-man from the requisite stoopid breeder who apparently didn't realize she was sitting in a room full of homos.)

And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have even recognized Jason (I call him Jason) if he sat next to me on the bus. He's pretty short and he had a lot of facial hair, so he just looked like a cute-ish scruffy guy. And his handlers whisked him away in a private car the moment the Q&A session was over, so I never got a chance to examine him up close.

He's now officially the second really, really famous celebrity I've been really, really near to -- after my Whoopi Goldberg encounter in LA almost 10 years ago. So I'm getting more and more connected in Hollywood.

The day wasn't all peaches and beans, though. I went to my friendly neighborhood True Value Hardware this afternoon to return a dead phone battery I'd bought there six days ago. Unfortunately, this True Value has a five-day limit on its return policy. And besides, the woman behind the counter patiently explained to me, they couldn't take it back anyway because the package had been opened.

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