(No Longer) North of Foster, (Still) Left of Center
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
DAY 1 WITHOUT DIET COKE
I have replaced my morning 44 oz. bucket of delicious chemical elixir with a can of itchy water infused with a vague taste of sodium and a wisp of a lie about ephemeral fruit flavor. We should find out relatively soon exactly how many tears of desperate despondency I’m capable of shedding as I shake uncontrollably from delicious chemical withdrawal. Stay tuned.
Also: Ranch peanuts taste exactly like peanuts that have the word Ranch on the packaging.