If we're exchanging chatty pleasantries in, say, a work
cafeteria or a similar-to-not-similar setting and you casually and
correctly toss out the word "fungible" -- which ranks among my favorite
obscure, admittedly pretentious, and actually quite specific and useful
ten-dollar words -- you must marry me before sundown.
FINE PRINT:
You must be male, gay, occasionally employed, reasonably tall,
show-tune equipped, non-shoe-volume-judging, bitchy-cat-enchanting, less
embarrassing than anyone named Donald,
and enamored of guys who can without warning completely black out and
open gruesome disfiguring wounds from crashing to the floor and chipping
the ceramic tile with their faces.This offer is null and void to any
hypothetical female woman to whom I hypothetically proposed for casually
and correctly saying "fungible" in a work cafeteria or a
similar-to-not-similar setting on or around the January 4, 2017,
conventional lunch-eating timeframe. DUDES ONLY.
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