Wednesday, January 04, 2017


If we're exchanging chatty pleasantries in, say, a work cafeteria or a similar-to-not-similar setting and you casually and correctly toss out the word "fungible" -- which ranks among my favorite obscure, admittedly pretentious, and actually quite specific and useful ten-dollar words -- you must marry me before sundown.

FINE PRINT: You must be male, gay, occasionally employed, reasonably tall, show-tune equipped, non-shoe-volume-judging, bitchy-cat-enchanting, less embarrassing than anyone named Donald, and enamored of guys who can without warning completely black out and open gruesome disfiguring wounds from crashing to the floor and chipping the ceramic tile with their faces.This offer is null and void to any hypothetical female woman to whom I hypothetically proposed for casually and correctly saying "fungible" in a work cafeteria or a similar-to-not-similar setting on or around the January 4, 2017, conventional lunch-eating timeframe. DUDES ONLY.

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