at singing! This I learned the painful way when he led all of Wrigley Field on the most tuneless version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in the entire history of bad tonality. He was so bad and so off that I couldn't even find the notes myself. And I've sung this shit professionally.
He was our choral leader tonight because apparently the Cubs have theme nights. And tonight's theme was
washed-up TV stars with poochy tummies '70s Night. Which was actually kind of fun -- there were tons of people there in hideously authentic disco costumes. And there was even one little anachronism of a kid sitting next to us in a hysterical Austin Powers getup, complete with wig and glasses and frilly shirt sticking out of an elfin velvet coat.
The "us" in that last sentence was me and my very cool co-worker Andrew. We decided long ago that we needed a Cubs night together so 1) we could do something fun that didn't involve direct mail and 2) he could teach me everything there is to know about baseball. Because I used to know a little about it, but I forgot. And I feel like there's this whole world of "normal" (i.e., not gay) stuff to know out there and I've let it pass me by for the last 36 years. So I'm catching up.
2 comments:
HE SUCKED SO BAD!
I was there too! We were in the bleachers, right under the scoreboard. Nearly froze my ass off. DAMN it was cold. I didn't even know it was 70s night. If only I'd known, I would have worn my mutton-chop sideburns and donned my cordovan brown leather jacket. Damn.
i'd still do him, so that i could say that i did.
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