Flashback Tuesday: Aging Gracefully Edition

American artist Ivan Albright painted his lurid, mildewy Picture of Dorian Gray in 1944, inspired by Oscar Wilde’s 1891 novel of the same name. It hangs just around the corner from Grant Wood’s iconic 1930 American Gothic in the Art Institute of Chicago’s American Art wing.

But the point of this post is that some stupid white-shirted jerk totally photobombed this handsome, distinguished formal portrait of me.

Program insert:

At today’s matinee of The Full Monty, the role of Horse (usually played by Omarr J Hatcher Sr.) will be played by Jake Stigers, and the show-stopping song “Big Black Man” will be replaced with the irascibility anthem “Old White Guy.” Theatre Cedar Rapids apologizes in advance if you’re asked to get off of its lawn.

Christopher Schubert will, as always, continue to photobomb every social-media post and distract from its super-funny narrative.

Seriously

How awesome and inventive are the projections on our also-how-awesome-and-inventive Elf the Musical set? You’ll just have to come and behold for yourselves.

You’ll also have to come and behold the boundless energy, effortless talents and fearless ridiculousness of my photobomber: D.J., who brings Buddy the Elf to life with his gorgeous voice and childlike delight. The kids in our preview audience oohed and aahed and giggled and clapped all through the show last night, and I lost track of the times people told me afterward that they left the theater filled with holiday spirit. We’re all really proud of this show, and thrilled to get to share it with everyone who comes to see it. LIKE YOU.

Get your tickets.

Well hello, knotty-pine-ski-lodge-with-towering-great-room-and-big-gay-Shane-photobomber-away-from-home!

When you’re trying to take a respectable selfie in the solemnity of an empty theater and you get terrifyingly photobombed by a man named Pickering which sounds like pickled herring which is a creepy coincidence because in the first show you did with him HE WAS A BIG RED CRAB

Jamie, Alfred and Harry (with a teeny-tiny mirrorbomb from a betuxed Reginald) gettin’ Little-Bit-of-Lucked up

5K along the ocean!

from the left: guest gay, token chick, homo host, shirt sherpa, opportunistic photobomber, opportunistic photobomber

I RAN THREE MILES! WITHOUT STOPPING! OR PAIN!

I don’t know why Scott and Rob are in this photo—those opportunistic photobombers—because this is all about me Me ME!

And the perfect running weather. And my super-cool sunglasses. And my FINALLY functional hip. And OK, I guess it can be about Scott and Rob too. (ME!)

#HowToTurn50 #AndBeTrulyThankfulForYourPatientFriends

Sponge! Bob!

My Big Broadway Birthday Binge Bash Blowout concludes with a FRONT! ROW! CENTER! (of the balcony!) SEAT! for SpongeBob Squarepants, starring my relentlessly adorable next husband, Ethan Slater:

My final musical also featured a classy, respectful pre-show-selfie photobomb from my arch-nemesis name twin who really truly has the same name as me, and after years and years of chatting on Facebook we finally just met. And I really truly like him:

And here's the view of the gorgeously rococo Palace Theater awash in watery SpongeBob lighting right behind me as I sit in my FRONT! ROW! CENTER! (of the balcony!) SEAT!:

#HowToTurn50 #AndMaybeSeeAMusical #OrFour

It's today! Get ready!

For the memes, I mean.

Driving Miss Bridget

Look at that adorable-but-starting-to-look-older-and-sometimes-nighttime-drooly-and-graying-so-slightly-that-you-hardly-even-notice-but-still-totally-adorable FACE.

I wish Bridget hadn't photobombed me and ruined my selfie.