Showing posts with label knockoffs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knockoffs. Show all posts
Friday, February 23, 2018
Tuesday, May 09, 2017
Things the president has said or done that are praiseworthy
As requested by The New York Times:
• He knows more about ISIS than the generals do.
• He could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and wouldn't lose any voters.
• He's so good at leadership and deal-making that he almost brought his entire majority party together to pass a piece of legislation that didn't involve an executive order.
• He could have prevented the Civil War if Andrew Jackson would have just trusted those deal-making skills.
• He bombed Syria. Or Iraq. Whatever.
• He traveled through time to the year 3010, fought the evil robot kings and saved the human race again.
• He's fathered the eminent scientist and knockoff shoe designer Ivanka Trump, who as we speak is packing her vast, unbiased scientific knowledge into a genuine alligator clutch with a logo-jacquard lining and a pearl-inlay pinch clasp trimmed in signature rose gold to meet with EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt to review the United States’ commitment to the Paris Climate Change agreement.
• Speaking of the eminent scientist and knockoff shoe designer Ivanka Trump, he's so open-minded that he let a Jew into his family. Still no word on his approval of the blacks, though.
• Speaking of eminent, he's an eminent (as all Trumps are) scholar of religion who's learned enough to pronounce it "Two Corinthians."
• He ushered in an exciting new hairstyle that put an end to the man-bun.
• He saved himself money by having all his pro-American-jobs campaign hats made in China.
• He saved the whole country money by golfing in New Jersey instead of New York last weekend.
• He somehow made Kellyanne Conway go away.
• Speaking of disappearing women, has anyone seen our First Lady? Has anyone seen ANY praiseworthy evidence of Trump's third marriage?
• Speaking of Trump's marriages, he generously pays his used wives so much money that they never need to talk to anyone about their relationships with and insights into him, the president of the entire United States.
• He can probably name all of his wives and children. In order.
• He opened a state-of-the-art Holocaust center.
• He gave an entire generation of parents the opportunity to explain to their young children what a pussy is.
• He could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and wouldn't lose any voters.
• He's so good at leadership and deal-making that he almost brought his entire majority party together to pass a piece of legislation that didn't involve an executive order.
• He could have prevented the Civil War if Andrew Jackson would have just trusted those deal-making skills.
• He bombed Syria. Or Iraq. Whatever.
• He traveled through time to the year 3010, fought the evil robot kings and saved the human race again.
• He's fathered the eminent scientist and knockoff shoe designer Ivanka Trump, who as we speak is packing her vast, unbiased scientific knowledge into a genuine alligator clutch with a logo-jacquard lining and a pearl-inlay pinch clasp trimmed in signature rose gold to meet with EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt to review the United States’ commitment to the Paris Climate Change agreement.
• Speaking of the eminent scientist and knockoff shoe designer Ivanka Trump, he's so open-minded that he let a Jew into his family. Still no word on his approval of the blacks, though.
• Speaking of eminent, he's an eminent (as all Trumps are) scholar of religion who's learned enough to pronounce it "Two Corinthians."
• He ushered in an exciting new hairstyle that put an end to the man-bun.
• He saved himself money by having all his pro-American-jobs campaign hats made in China.
• He saved the whole country money by golfing in New Jersey instead of New York last weekend.
• He somehow made Kellyanne Conway go away.
• Speaking of disappearing women, has anyone seen our First Lady? Has anyone seen ANY praiseworthy evidence of Trump's third marriage?
• Speaking of Trump's marriages, he generously pays his used wives so much money that they never need to talk to anyone about their relationships with and insights into him, the president of the entire United States.
• He can probably name all of his wives and children. In order.
• He opened a state-of-the-art Holocaust center.
• He gave an entire generation of parents the opportunity to explain to their young children what a pussy is.
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
One of these things Ivanka like the others
Calling
her a "designer" of anything seems generous since she's being sued for
"designing" knockoff couture footwear. But at least her lies are on
point.
Wednesday, February 08, 2017
Note: Ivanka Trump shoes are made in China
Hey! Whiny, petulant, willfully ignorant, morally repulsive, pointless man-boy! Yeah you! Pay attention!
1. People stopped buying Ivanka Trump shoes and Nordstrom started phasing them out long before you were elected president.
2. Ivanka Trump shoes are poorly made and they fall apart and lots of people returned them, which you as a so-called "businessman" should recognize as a textbook example of the third-grade business term "loss."
3. They're made in China, just like your suits and ties and Make America A Global Embarrassment red hats.
4. You campaigned hard on a platform of bullheaded nationalism and isolationist American job growth.
5. China is not America.
6. Your daughter's shoes are made in China.
7. They're made in China.
8. They're made in China.
9. They're made in China.
10. They're made in China.
2. Ivanka Trump shoes are poorly made and they fall apart and lots of people returned them, which you as a so-called "businessman" should recognize as a textbook example of the third-grade business term "loss."
3. They're made in China, just like your suits and ties and Make America A Global Embarrassment red hats.
4. You campaigned hard on a platform of bullheaded nationalism and isolationist American job growth.
5. China is not America.
6. Your daughter's shoes are made in China.
7. They're made in China.
8. They're made in China.
9. They're made in China.
10. They're made in China.
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