Three miles! 10:46 pace!

The 10:16 pace was actually just Rob and me; he slogged along with my slow ass so we could talk about SHOW TUNES! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Rival-gang-member-and-occasional-interloper Traci (whom I’m calling a rival gang member here solely for the purpose of layering dramatic tension into this artfully nuanced narrative) sprinted ahead with pack-leader Scott and talked about the dreary sociopolitical metaphors of prescription constipation medication commercials. Or grapes. Or something. How would I know? I was in the back discussing Bernadette Peters’ surprisingly tepid movie career with Rob.

Anyway, here is this morning’s litany of complaints:
• Rob was 10 minutes late because he went the wrong way on the highway
• Because Bernadette Peters’ surprisingly tepid movie career is distressing to the point of highway distraction
• Rob’s 10 minute delay seems to have increased the potentially us-hitting automobile cross traffic on our running trail exponentially
• BECAUSE ROB WENT THE WRONG WAY ON THE HIGHWAY THIS MORNING
• WHO DOES THAT?
• OK, I’ve done it a couple times too
• But I’ll never admit it on here
• The fog this morning was insane
• Autocorrect just insisted that I wanted to write about insane figs
• That’s crazy
• Anyway, back to the fog ...
• It was so thick
• (How thick was it?)
• The fog this morning was so thick that it made us all sopping wet after our run
• What? Not everything has to be a joke, people
• Sheesh
• Let’s see ... Rob has driving-moron issues, Traci ran with us, Scott may or may not have talked about grapes, I’m awesome because this is my narrative and I control the content, Bernadette Peters, lots of cross traffic, insane figs, wet runners, sheesh ... that about covers everything
• Except we tried to stand or squat in levels for our post-run selfie and I chose to squat and then I had a hard time standing up afterward
• Probably because I have scurvy caused by an acute grape deficiency
• Or maybe it’s figs
• Which is insane

Two days until my Big Birthday Broadway Binge Bash!

I'm glad I listened to the buzz, followed my show-tune-loving heart and bought my tickets early, because the Tony nominations came out this morning and I freaking SCORED on tickets that will for the foreseeable show-tune-loving future be impossible to get.

To wit:SpongeBob Squarepants: 12 Tony nominations!
Mean Girls: 12 Tony nominations!
Frozen: 3 Tony nominations!
The Boys in the Band: 0 Tony nominations, but it's about gay people and gay people are gross and besides even though "band" is CLEARLY in the title it's not a musical and why the hell would anyone do a show about gross gay people that isn't a musical?

I still have room for one more show, which I plan on letting the vicissitudes of TKTS decide for me. I'm interested in seeing Lobby Hero (3 Tony nominations!), Hello, Dolly! (Bernadette Peters!), Waitress (Katharine McPhee! Because I have a weird gay crush on her!), Dear Evan Hansen (Better late than never!), The Iceman Cometh (Kidding! Hate that show!), or anything any trusted friend or stranger recommends.

But hurry--recommendations are being accepted only until Thursday night when I stand before the oracles of the TKTS ticket booth. So throw them at me!

#HowToTurn50

Bernadette Peters has walked through this door. Kathy Griffin has walked through this door.

I HAVE WALKED THROUGH THIS DOOR.

Find out why at CRFOLLIES.COM