Monday, September 25, 2017

The older I get, the more I turn into a fondue fountain at a wedding reception

This is the sweat that dripped off of my who knows where (elbows? nose? shoulders? can sweat even technically drip off of shoulders?) and landed in big enough splats that it didn't evaporate during four sets of heavy squats this morning. I'm my own personal sweat lodge. I'm the Nijakera Falls. I'm a melting seahorse ice sculpture at the center of an Icelandic vodka tasting. I'm also still single, Ladies. And I know how you dames love a man who sweats all over your floors so you have a reason to use your new Wonder Mops.

Also: super-cute shoes!

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