Or maybe you're just grandstanding and you actually can't handle this investigation you so emphatically say you want ... or what it won't turn up. Nah. It can't be that.
Now I'm no investigator, but I've done a little sleuthing for you. Because I am a patriotic citizen and I'm always committed to weshoulding anytime and anywhere the meaningless, passive call goes out. And I found this damning photo that you just happen to have included RIGHT IN YOUR TWEET of Chuck Schumer having a covert, conspicuously secret meeting in plain sight out in public in front of a bunch of FAKE NEWS! photographers 15 almost-yesterday years ago. The circumstances are eerily similar between this meeting and the private ones Mike Flynn and Jeff Sessions had with Russian officials during your campaign. You know: the ones they both lied about to the Senate within the first 40 days of your not-corrupt, not-connected-to-Russia-everywhere-you-look administration. Yeah, those ones.
I know this in-plain-sight-right-out-in-the-open photo is shrouded in shadow and secrecy, but I used some supersleuthy face-finding software I have secretly installed on my iPhone and I was able to at the very least isolate the shady (accidental pun? damning metaphor? you decide!) participants' faces in the photo. I've subtly framed all the faces in little squares to help you find them. The weshoulding investigation you launch will have to take it from there.
Sorry I can't be of more help. But every little thing we as United States citizens and even officials can do to expose everyone in our government who has ties to the Russians -- be it mere months ago or even 15 almost-yesterday years ago -- is of vital national importance.
Based on your tweet, I have no doubt you'd agree. Right?
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