• Gay people are citizens who de facto deserve to be treated as such and not as pawns in manipulative political theater
• Mitch McConnell is universally regarded as a drug-resistant-syphilis public-health outbreak that needs to be quarantined and annihilated
• Rachel Maddow: I would happily turn lesbian if you’d please marry me
• Nobody’s afraid to play the Let Me Tell You About This Devastatingly Horrible Personal Tragedy That Happened To Me And/Or My Family card
• One unexpected side benefit of this bountiful diversity of candidates: It’s so much easier to differentiate among people when they’re not all wrinkly old white men
• John Delaney: Just fucking shut up when you’re told to
• Tulsi Gabbard: I predict you’ll be voted off the island first
• I find myself feeling WAY more confident in people who have military experience
• Seth Moulton: Well-placed ad buy right before the closing statements!
• Julián Castro: Your bilingual demonstrations are awesome and I wholeheartedly applaud them both for what they celebrate and for whom they piss off but they come off as staged and gimmicky and maybe you should practice them in front of the mirror so they feel more natural
• Amy Klobuchar: You performed better than I’d expected—I’m sorry I undersold you to myself and I promise I’ll pay more attention going forward
• Beto O’Rourke and Corey Booker: Your passion and intelligence and thoughtfulness make you my front-runners of this debate
• Shit—I feel the same about Elizabeth Warren
• THERE ARE TOO MANY AWESOME CHOICES HERE—this is such a profoundly impressive bunch of people and intellects and perspectives
• Taking turns isn’t anybody’s strong suit
• But I LOVE the overall spirit of respect and universal commitment to our country’s best interests
• And it’s so thrilling to hear people talk in informed, coherent, meaningful sentences
• THAT I can tell you
• Mitch McConnell is universally regarded as a drug-resistant-syphilis public-health outbreak that needs to be quarantined and annihilated
• Rachel Maddow: I would happily turn lesbian if you’d please marry me
• Nobody’s afraid to play the Let Me Tell You About This Devastatingly Horrible Personal Tragedy That Happened To Me And/Or My Family card
• One unexpected side benefit of this bountiful diversity of candidates: It’s so much easier to differentiate among people when they’re not all wrinkly old white men
• John Delaney: Just fucking shut up when you’re told to
• Tulsi Gabbard: I predict you’ll be voted off the island first
• I find myself feeling WAY more confident in people who have military experience
• Seth Moulton: Well-placed ad buy right before the closing statements!
• Julián Castro: Your bilingual demonstrations are awesome and I wholeheartedly applaud them both for what they celebrate and for whom they piss off but they come off as staged and gimmicky and maybe you should practice them in front of the mirror so they feel more natural
• Amy Klobuchar: You performed better than I’d expected—I’m sorry I undersold you to myself and I promise I’ll pay more attention going forward
• Beto O’Rourke and Corey Booker: Your passion and intelligence and thoughtfulness make you my front-runners of this debate
• Shit—I feel the same about Elizabeth Warren
• THERE ARE TOO MANY AWESOME CHOICES HERE—this is such a profoundly impressive bunch of people and intellects and perspectives
• Taking turns isn’t anybody’s strong suit
• But I LOVE the overall spirit of respect and universal commitment to our country’s best interests
• And it’s so thrilling to hear people talk in informed, coherent, meaningful sentences
• THAT I can tell you
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