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Remember when Rick Santorum led the Evangelical charge against "man on dog" just 15 short years ago? Either Evangelicals have irresponsibly let their anti-bestiality standards catastrophically implode in the last decade and a half (apparently the slippery slope of moral collapse is steep once you elect a black president) or "girl on goat" (or wolf or beast or whatever) is far more godly in the Evangelical anti-bestiality hierarchy.
Because even though this show has been about and has been VERY UNAMBIGUOUSLY CALLED "Beauty and the Beast" through an animated movie, a Broadway musical and now a live-action movie revival FOR 26 YEARS, this in-your-face girl-on-goat love story has not ONCE inflamed the delicate moral sensibilities of the Evangelical Persecution Complex Network™. Until now.
"Beauty and the Beast" debuted in 1991. Twelve celebrated girl-on-goat years later, Rick Santorum led the charge against "man on dog" bestiality in a 2003 USA Today interview. And now -- 15 years after that, as Disney once again breathes fresh new life into this wholesome, timeless girl-on-goat love story -- Rick Santorum's Evangelical anti-bestiality progeny are FINALLY launching an epic biblical boycott of the once again unambiguously named "Beauty and the Beast" franchise because of ... a vaguely implied and wholly unrequited possibly gay sub-sub-sub storyline in the movie.
Grotesque, hate-filled religious hypocrisy. Tale as old as time.