Resolutions

• Repair the giant gap where the outside wall of my condo is ripping away from the inside wall. (The building engineer assures me it's a cosmetic thing and not a structural thing, but the gap makes it look exactly like the back of the building is falling off and one of these days I'm going to come home to a giant, breezy window 24 stories in the sky.)

• Change the HVAC filters. (It's been four years. It's probably about time.)

• Learn to use a punching bag. There's one in my gym. All the cool kids can do that BA-da-da-da-BA-da-da-da rhythm with it. I sure can't. Yet.

• Heal from lipo and never do it again. Right now, I'm in this weird place between sheepish incredulousness over having spent a ton of money on an unnecessary, invasive procedure and ecstatic relief over actually getting rid of something that has bothered the shit out of me for at least 10 years. (It may end up looking great, but right now it hurts and that's cutting into my fun. And I'd rather spend my time having fun.) Judging from the feedback I've gotten here, your opinions cover an even broader spectrum on the topic—from surprise to congratulations to curiosity to admiration (?) to irrational, immature, sometimes vicious (and always anonymous) personal attacks. (Hey, if you don't like me, don't read my blog. Duh.)

• Get rid of at least 100 things that are cluttering up my house: clothes I never wear, books I'll never read again, CDs and DVDs I never really liked in the first place, sheets and blankets and towels and coats that other people need more than I do, knickknacks that mean nothing to me ... I'm tired of feeling constantly beholden to my stuff. And tripping over it.

• Run a 5K in under 8-minute miles.

• Run the Chicago Marathon in under four hours.

• Learn enough Web design that I can make a Web site of my own.

• Get my long-dormant book published and/or my old newspaper column revived and syndicated.

• Continue in my personal quest to demonstrate to the world that gay people aren't abstract "threats" to the common good but are human beings who contribute to society and pay taxes and feel real pain when we're insulted and vilified and lied about and beaten and used as political pawns and voted into inequality.