Monday, September 06, 2004

Double standard

Jeremy threw a nice little Labor Day party last night. About 10 of us from the chorus sat around talking and drinking and singing along with CDs for a couple hours, and then we all headed out the door to walk to the new sports bar that just opened up about five blocks from his house.

We had barely all gotten out his door and onto the sidewalk when two black women standing at a window on the third floor across the street saw us and yelled "FAGGOTS!" down at us.

Now, whether or not they could tell we were gay -- hell, whether or not we actually were all gay -- is of no importance compared to the fact that these women knew it was perfectly OK to yell "FAGGOTS!" at a sizeable crowd of complete strangers in a population-dense neighborhood and that they would suffer no repercussions. No significant reaction from us. No threats of violence from other gay people in the vicinity. No horrified stares from their more civilized neighbors. Nothing.

And they were right. We just ignored them and kept on walking.

But had we yelled "NIGGERS!" back at them -- which none of us would do, of course, though we would be perfectly within our rights for doing so, and it would be the most logical retort in an insult war since all we knew about them was that they were black (and obviously combative assholes) -- we could very well have set off a scene that could realistically involve angry neighbors pouring out in the streets, threats and/or acts of violence, police involvement, and maybe even coverage on the next night's news.

Why?

15 comments:

RcktMan Rick said...

I was a bit disturbed by that as well, but I sort of thought that they were just incredibly trashy anyway, and that nothing they were going to say was going to bother me. Besides, they were three floors up, in a window. What harm could they do to us? They're just narrow-minded, stupid hoochy trash.

However, you make a valid point about yelling back at them. There seems to be more stopping us from retorting because it would start a firestorm. We'd have been branded racists and probably beaten to a pulp. And who was going to care that "They started it?" Nobody. There's a definite double-standard there. It's annoying to me when people play the race card just to start a stink. But if that's how they want to play, you would think that they would then keep their mouths shut about other people's differences or uniquenesses, in return.

Alan Keyes, are you listening?

Anonymous said...

Funny...yesterday in West Hollywood we were with a straight friend of ours parking to go eat and the woman behind us honked her horn as we were parking and screamed out, "Fucking faggots!"

She was young and white, the demographic that is supposedly in support of gay marriage and I'm thinking to myself, she's in West Hollywood for christ sake!

I just don't understand hatred.

Jane said...

Chalk it up to their ignorance, and continue to rise above it--as you have.

Will said...

I think it's because we have come just far enough that discrimination against blacks is pretty universally recognized as being a bad thing. Discrimination against gays is still perfectly acceptable in many circles. Far too many.

Jeff said...

We're the one minority it's still OK for everyone (even other marginalized groups) to bash, but I've often wondered what they would do if we started bashing back.

Anonymous said...

At 10:18 PM, Jeff said...
We're the one minority it's still OK for everyone (even other marginalized groups) to bash, but I've often wondered what they would do if we started bashing back.


Try being obese. OK to stereotype, marginalize, and insult (fat jokes anyone).

OnlyInTheSouthEnd said...

Not so sound rude or anything, but the percentage of americans who are overweight seems to be very much on the rise, and it wouldn't surprise me if its closer to a majority than a minority.

Unless you have some type of "illness" that makes it hard to lose weight, being overweight is just not good for you. I've nothing against overweight people, but come on, take your own health into consideration here.

On the other hand, all those people out there who have the need to look like a pretzel stick, I'd advise you to eat some more food!

Will said...

Jeff, we did start bashing back--it was called Stonewall and you biring up a good point--it was the beginning of modern gay history.

Megan said...

It makes my heart hurt to hear that.

David said...

When I was younger I used to answer with the matching racial slur but I found it didn't make me feel any better. Perhaps a stun gun...,

Anonymous said...

Friday afternoon, my son was bullied at school. Not because he was gay or straight or for any other reason. He was beaten simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing more, nothing less. We have since fought back hard, removing the problem, if only temporarily. Bullying from a child or from two black women isn't to be tolerated...ever. Fight back, act up, take a stand.

Anonymous said...

OnlyInTheSouthEnd, you sound very rude. What does your post have to do with discrimination of obese people? Do you think that it is acceptable if obesity is the majority (which it is not even close to being in the US, overweight yes, obese no)?

Anonymous said...

Now hold the phone. Shouting "niggers" back at those women was not your only choice of a response to those skanky ghetto biatches, and it's interesting to me to note that it seems to be the only one you've considered here. It's only the most *obvious* and equally hateful choice. It isn't necessary to fight hate with hate. Doesn't our government do enough of that?

palochi said...

A few weeks back, I was walking with a group of people down Broadway in Boystown around 3 a.m. when three fratboys stumbled drunkenly past us, blurted out "FAGGOTS!" and laughed about it as they continued walking.

I turned and yelled back, "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

More laughter was the reply.

I replied again, "COME ON! JUST SAY IT ONE MORE TIME FOR ME!"

Again, laughter and walking in the opposite direction was the response.

I have no idea what I was trying to do at the time. Perhaps I was trying to start a fight, tired of putting up with this arrogant behavior. Whatever my immediate motivation, I'll never know what the outcome would have been if the chicken shit frat-rats had actually called me out on my confrontation.

Either way, what really pissed me off about it is that it happened in BOYSTOWN TODAY. As far as I'm concerned, you have to be a complete moron or twisted thrill-seeker to play namecalling games in an ethnic or culturally unique neighborhood. And I've noticed it happening with increasing frequency in this particular neighborhood.

My patience wears down with each day that passes when we're treated in this manner. Do they not think there'll eventually be a backlash of some sort?

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, there usually isn't a "best" way to deal with bigotry. I don't know what I would do in a similar situation. But isn't it pathetic when a person has to resort to making other people feel bad in order to feel better about themselves? (And it problably doesn't work for very long.)

Scott