You can tell a lot about a guy by the trash he washes on TV -- and by the order he ranks his shows.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy How much do I love this show? It has gay people who are funny and clever (except for poor Jai) and who are the de facto experts on something that straight people strive for (except for poor Jai). It offers dramatic transformations of homes and wardrobes and personalities and lives. It sometimes features straight men crying. It sometimes features HOT straight men crying. And it does it all with love and humor. And even though it promotes some negative, frivolous gay stereotypes, it's a "reality" show where people don't yell at each other. And I have to respect that. And I've never missed an episode.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy UK Edition Even more fun than the US edition because 1) all the guys are hot (especially Dane) 2) they all talk funny 3) the screen sometimes offers UK-to-US dialect translations and 4) did I mention they're all hot?
Playing it Straight This trash-ee little "reality" dating show featured one woman and a bunch of male suitors, some of whom were secretly gay. It got canceled mid-season last year due to poor ratings, but I keep it on my Season Pass in the hopes that it comes back to life because I'm DYING to know how it turned out.
Will & Grace I'm losing interest in this show -- especially since that dreamy Harry Connick, Jr. left -- but for some reason I keep watching it.
The Apprentice I LOVE this show -- it's what I do every day at work, only times 50 -- with the added bonus of cameras and career-altering drama and telegenic people.
Joey I don't love it yet -- and I probably never will. But I'll hop on the early bandwagon. Because I'm a FOLLOWER.
Six Feet Under One of the most fascinating soap operas on TV. Especially because 1) the gay guys have the most stable relationship in this vast wasteland of matrimonial instability and 2) I dated a funeral director for 3 1/2 years.
Extreme Makeover I am so addicted to this show. And thanks to the miracle of TiVo, I can fast-forward through everything but the surgeries, the makeovers and the dramatic, life-altering reveals.
The Complex: Malibu I stopped watching when they evicted the hunky gay guys. There was too much yelling, the two most hateful couples made it to the final four and I totally lost interest. But I keep it on my Season Pass because my friend Bill is some kind of producer on it. (Sorry, Bill.)
South Park Screw you guys. I'm going home.
Amish in the City Trashy, yes. Exploitive? Only of the self-absorbed, staggeringly immature city kids. The Amish kids come off as pretty level-headed and intelligent. And this one has a smokin' hot bod. And some wicked scary teeth.
The Graham Norton Effect Funny, yes. But have you seen all the other shows I barely find the time to sit through? So I rarely watch this one.
Saturday Night Live ditto
Mad TV ditto
Family Guy Brilliant. Growing on me.
The Simpsons Can't talk. Eating.
Crossing Jordan A piss-poor Quincy, M.E. knockoff with some stop-you-in-your-tracks bad writing, special effects and acting. Yet still strangely compelling.
French in Action A French-education program on PBS filmed in the early ’80s -- with all the visual horrors those words conjure in your mind. Every. Last. One.