Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Dabbling in the occult

Dan, Nick and I -- on the recommendation of a friend of Dan's -- went to a psychic last night. And he was amazing.

But first, I have to report that on the way there, I did the stupidest thing any reasonably sober Chicagoan can do: I managed to get on the Purple Line train going in the wrong direction. No big deal, I can hear you saying. Just get off at the next stop and get on the Purple Line train heading in the direction you want to go.

Well, yes. That's what I eventually did. Except I had to wait half an hour to change trains because the Purple Line runs express to Evanston if you get on the northbound train at Belmont instead of the southbound, which takes you to the Loop in about five short stops.

Anyway, after reading a complete issue of Newsweek, I eventually changed trains and made it to the Loop and joined Dan and Nick for our evening of black magic. And our psychic was awesome -- he just started talking as soon as he shook our hands, blurting out highly accurate statements and questions and predictions at rapid-fire pace. He nailed a ton of secrets all three of us were carrying, and we all left more than impressed.

My life has always been pretty great (to the point of being boring), so the stuff he said about me was a lot less juicy than what Dan and Nick got. And he went so fast that I still can't remember everything he said, but here's what I got written down (conveniently categorized for your reading pleasure):

Obvious generalities and/or easy guesses
- I'm German
- I'm Norwegian
- I grew up Lutheran
- I look like my dad (which isn't all that true; I look more like my mom)
- I'm in my mid-30s
- I have a friend named Dave
- I have a Jewish friend
- I had a grandparent die of heart problems
- There's a woman at my office who likes me

Amazing facts he knew all by himself
- I'm a writer
- I'm in advertising
- My mom is a long-term cancer survivor
- My dad has had back surgery
- My mom is 62 and my niece is 2
- My family is in Iowa
- Someone in my family used to live in Ohio
- I had a long-term relationship that ended amicably
- My mom was really pretty when she was young, and she's still quite attractive
- My family doesn't have many issues with my sexuality, and my dad is the coolest about it
- My sister's husband treats her well
- My sister is really pretty when she dresses up, but she usually dresses casually
- My sister was a teacher until she had her kids
- My sister's name is Jenny
- My boss and I are good friends
- I have many really great friends who openly express an interest in dating me, but I'm not romantically interested in them
- I have a friend named Scott who is really attractive and we flirt openly with each other, but we have never acted on our mutual interest
- I'm going to Europe in the fall
- Dan and Nick are going to Europe as well, but not with me
- I've known Dan longer than I've known Nick
- I have an easy time meeting people (which is actually not very true at all -- I'm pathologically shy, but once I do meet people I have an easy time making friends)

Yet-to-be-proven-true predictions
- I'll never have a weight problem (Nick got this same prediction, but Dan -- put down that doughnut! -- didn't)
- I will do very well in my career and make a lot of money
- I will live a long life
- My niece will be into ballet and my nephew will be into soccer
- My mom's cancer won't come back
- I'll start a long-term monogamous relationship within the year
- My trip to Europe will go very well

Things I figured he'd pick up on but he didn't
- I've lost five friends in violent ways -- including a terrorist murder
- I'm not religious and my family is -- which is probably our only conflict

Random things that may or may not be true
- My mom has a friend with MS
- My mom has a friend in Boston

I'm still absorbing everything he told me, but I was certifiably amazed at the experience -- and we can't wait to go back in a few months to see what else there is to learn!

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