Monday, April 09, 2018

I’m working on my taxes and I want to make sure I don’t overlook anything from the checklist my tax preparer gave me

To your knowledge, did I open a HELOC that was not a campaign contribution to any of you during your joke of a presidential campaign to pay hush money to an enormous-breasted porn star for a well-documented extramarital affair that you unconvincingly deny having you dirty dog and therefore implausibly deny having any need for paying the hush money in the first place? I’ve obviously procrastinated myself down to the wire on the tax deadline, so please get back to me as soon as you finish your golf game. Kthanks.

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