Pocket polarization

Front left pocket: Cell phone. Can’t be stored near magnetic cards.

Front right pocket: Keys. Breath spray. Chapstick (if I can figure out where it disappeared to last week). Magnetic CTA card, which can’t be stored near other magnetic cards or cell phones.

Back left pocket: Magnetic ID card for my office building, featuring one of the more flattering photos in the canon of magnetic-card portraiture. Can’t be stored near other magnetic cards or cell phones.

Back right pocket: Wallet containing magnetic-striped credit cards, etc. Reportedly can’t be stored near other magnetic cards.

Back right butt cheek: Inflamed zit whose painfulness is exacerbated by its rubbingly close proximity to my wallet. Which apparently can’t be relocated to the pockets containing my cell phone, CTA card or building ID card.