Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ask me about the stupid way I just wasted money

So in my new life as a marathon runner AND a personal trainer user, my diet has shifted dramatically toward the world of powdered shake-type things. Partly because I feel that the makers of these shakes know a lot more about sports nutrition than I do. But mostly because they're so darn easy to mix and carry and consume. But not necessarily to store. Get a load of our powdered shake cupboard:
So what all is up there? Aside from some mysterious potions mixed and consumed only by the domestic partner–and some random photos of and drawings by our nieces and nephew—there are four products I take regularly. To wit:

Hyper Shock™, furious fruit punch: My pre-workout shake. It's all about caffeine, and when I take it before my 7:00 am workout I'm still jittery until about 1:00. But it helps me have killer workouts. And I feel very awake and productive all morning at work. Best of all, I don't feel any kind of crash when it wears off; I simply stop feeling jittery. I've also started taking it before my long runs because the jitters translate into reserve running energy with blessed ease.

Myogenix™ After Shock™, wild berry blast: My post-workout shake. It's delicious. It's packed with protein and mystical recovery chemicals. It definitely helps my muscles recover quickly enough that I can attack them again with the same intensity 48 hours later. I will drink this product until the day I die.

Myogenix™ Myolean™ Evolution, strawberry: My nighttime shake. It's also delicious. It's also packed with protein. It's also so easy to consume that it often substitutes for about 23 other meals during a typical day.

Endurox® R4® Recovery Drink, tangy orange: My post-running shake. Normally after a run longer than 15 miles, I feel like I have the flu for 24 hours. When I drink this after a long run, I just have sore muscles. And the soreness goes away in two days instead of four or five.

And so far, these products—which are not cheap, but they replace other foods we'd normally buy so we figure the cost is about a wash—have all been easy to manage and consume correctly, with no expensive mixups.

Until today.

See, I had filled my individual shake containers with the pre-workout caffeine stuff and the post-run recovery stuff on Friday night before I went to bed. Because we were supposed to run 23 miles at 6:00 the next morning. But the run was canceled because of the stupid tornado and flood warnings sweeping across Chicago. And it was still raining enough this morning that I decided not to run on my own. But by the time I went to the gym this afternoon, I'd clearly developed a case of the woefully stupids because when I went to empty my individual shake containers back into their storage canisters, I poured my post-run powder back into the pre-workout canister. Crazy! And then I brought the pre-workout stuff with me to the gym, which I didn't realize until I mixed it with water and started drinking it after my workout. And nobody needs a six-hour caffeine buzz after a Sunday afternoon workout. So I poured it down the drain.

Is anyone following all of this? Because now that I've written it I realize it's probably interesting to nobody but me. But I never promised you fascinating stories—or even coherence–on this blog.

Or even a clever closing paragraph.

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