Tuesday, June 12, 2007

LUSER

I just found out I didn't get picked in the lottery to run the New York Marathon this November, which will happen four weeks after I run the Chicago Marathon. I was hoping to parlay a whole summer's training into two rounds of marathon glory, but it's not gonna happen this year.

I probably got rejected because I'm so fat. And stupid. And clumsy. And I look funny when I run. And I don't let my scabs heal. And I'm really bad at grouting.

But this change of plans does mean I won't be cautiously conserving energy when I run Chicago. So I just may hit my 4:00 personal goal.

And I won't be out $1,000+ trying to find New York airfare and lodging. Which means I can maybe hire someone to do my damn grouting for me.

And while I'm on the topic of marathons and money, there's still time for you to sponsor me in the AIDS Marathon/Chicago Marathon thingie. Just click HERE and whip out your credit cards. It won't hurt a bit. And it might take the sting off my New York Marathon rejection. Which really, really, really hurts. Ouch. (See?)

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