New thing that I didn’t even realize is an essential bucket-list experience: They used a plunger on my kneecap. As in THEY USED AN ACTUAL-LOOKING (THOUGH TODDLER-SIZE) (AND A HANDSOME SHADE OF BLUE) TOILET PLUNGER TO SUCK MY KNEECAP AWAY FROM MY LEG TO STRETCH THE MUSCLES AND STUFF AROUND IT PLUS TO MAKE ACCIDENTAL (OR WERE THEY?) FART SOUNDS! I’m pissed that I’m injured again, I’m pooped from the running they had me do to analyze my gait (I really had to toil at it), but I’m flush with optimism about the success of this therapy.
Also: The home exercises they prescribed for me look like practice being dead and practice being slutty.