I'm a celebrity!

The Chicago magazine Top 20 Singles issue is out -- quite a few weeks earlier than I'd expected.

And there I am. Rubbing elbows right there in print with Jennifer "The Bachelor" Schefft and Hunter "The Bears" Hillenmeyer. Near as I can tell, there are just two homos in the Top 20 mix -- and neither of us is shy about being totally out in a nationwide high-end glossy magazine. The other gay guy -- whose last name starts with a W but who has an Emmy -- has a bigger picture on a more prominent page while I'm tucked away on the last spread with people whose last names start with Y and V. Even though my S cognomen puts me waaaaaaay higher in the alphabet hierarchy. Harumph.

And I don't want to complain too much -- especially since the Top 20 Singles editor promised that with this exposure "the heavens will rain down marriage proposals on me" -- but I have to say I'm not completely thrilled with my photo. It makes me look kind of smirky, like I just farted and I think I'm going to get away with it. And nobody wants to date a farter.

(Friends who've seen it say it doesn't even look like me. Which is good to hear, especially because the low-res version makes me look like Grandpa Munster. For the record, I actually look like this.)

And my profile -- duly flattering but factually shaky in many places -- spends an inordinate amount of time focusing on my brief foray into the world of drag. (Jeez -- you wear a dress just once (OK, four times) and suddenly you're a big ol' drag queen.)

But enough kvetching. I'm sincerely flattered that Chicago magazine found me interesting and attractive enough to take up space in its magazine. Even though the photo they printed makes me look like a bar mitzvah clown. And I'm thoroughly intrigued by where the whole thing might take me socially and romantically. And you, dear readers, will get to hear all about it. Assuming the cartoon photo and drag-centric profile don't undermine my ability to get any dates and generate any stories worth posting.

In the mean time, I'm not losing focus on whatever could develop with Red Shirt (next date: Wednesday!), and I'm already busy worrying what I'm going to wear to the Top 20 Singles kickoff party on June 25 at the Chicago Historical Society. The event is also a fund-raiser for the Bone Marrow Transplant Program at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Tickets are $55 in advance and $65 at the door.  Get your tickets here if you want to join us.

And check your newsstands for the July issue. (Promise not to laugh.) I'm on page 86. The same year I graduated from high school. Cosmic.