1. Too much Dippity-do makes it look like you've dyed your hair black.
2. I have a long and obstinate history of ignoring memos about family sleeve-buttoning standards.
3. Same with family white-turtleneck compliance ordinances.
4. There are dated family photos and there are hideously dated family photos. I think I can safely say that in this instance, we managed to keep our appearances neutral enough that this photo qualifies as the former.
5. It's apparently some pointlessly manufactured social-media festival called Sibling Day today, so I will refrain from making fun of my sister's hair.
6. No, really. I won't even bring it up.
7. On a completely unrelated note, remember when people used to put mousse in their hair to make it fluffy and out of proportion to their heads?
8. Me neither. Nobody would ever do that, right? I think it's actually just an urban legend.
9. Dappled background screens may match your family's full spectrum of chambray, but that does not make either side of the equation acceptable or appropriate for impressionable children.
10. Chambray would make a great name for a gay cat.
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