How to ruin Christmas four months early:

1. Write a Christmas holiday catalog for one of your clients. In August.
2. Develop a HUGE case of writer’s block. (“Deck the … um … deck?”)
3. Miss your company’s summer outing because you’re too Dubya butt-stupid to conjure up effective Christmas holiday imagery when you’re still wearing cargo shorts and shaved armpits.
4. Realize that you can't even drown your sorrows in eggnog until the damn stores start carrying it again.

(Of course, the three of us still here working on the thing just realized we can make a joke that starts A Polack, a Jew and a faggot were writing a Christmas catalog ...)