National Coming Out Day outfit, yo

I mean gurrrl.

I folded and organized and stacked my shirts in rainbow order (SHUT UP) and now I’m afraid to get dressed and mess them up

Well, shit

In all my fun Cedar Rapids Pride Festing I never took any pictures. But I rocked my rainbow couture with hundreds of lovely rainbow-clad people from all over the LGBTQ+ spectrum along with more lovely friends than I can count. And when I just left, I passed a woman on a motorcycle parked next to a requisite bitch-crazy hate preacher. She was reviving her engine at full rev to drown out the goat-fucking vomit he was trying to yell into his sad little bitch-boy megaphone while a huge circle of us perverts blew bubbles at him. They weren’t ribbon-festooned gift bags of flaming shit, but it was a lovely start.

#LoveWins #ExceptForBitchBoy

Happy World Pride Weekend, gurls! (snap!)

In the midst of all my heartless, unsentimental purging of once-beloved shoes and clothing

... I may or may not have just ordered some pride apparel I totally don’t need.

I managed to wear a pair of gym shorts today that are the exact shade of black polyester to spotlight just how pasty-white-Easter-ham-pink my legs are

Plus I’m wearing a shirt that might as well come with a name tag that says “Hello! My Name is Gay Gayerthanyou!”

Fortunately, there’s all but literally nobody here for me to horrify. Unfortunately, I am NOT in the mood to work out, and being surrounded by tons of other people working out usually keeps me focused and accountable.

So here we are.

My co-workers might be starting to suspect I’m gay

Also: My birthday doughnuts had rainbow sprinkles. But the doughnuts from my plate are all gone. I might need to go to the kitchen to get more.

I worry that we’re creating unhealthy body-image issues here for both women and men, but I can’t think that right now because I got a show to do!

Also: Super-cute Snoopy rainbow shirt!

Three dorks at The 39 Steps

I was GOING to make some brutally clever comment about how Sage and I have matching, relentlessly horizontal rainbow stripes racing gaily across our masculine chests on our not-gay date, but boring-old-plain-shirted Rob literally—LITERALLY!—jumped into our selfie at literally—LITERALLY!—the last second like some unhinged white-shirted monkey and ruined everything. I literally hate theater people.

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

June is pride month for most cities, but Cedar Rapids has our pride fest in July out of sisterly courtesy to Chicago so they don’t lose out to us on all the good parade float rentals. (YOU’RE WELCOME.) But somebody wasn’t so considerate and beat us out on the readable-size pride-fest banner we’ve hung over our entrance. Ours may be slightly small, but it’s just as mightily jubilant.

#WeirdStuffICollectOnMyPhone

Mommy, why doesn't Jake have a boyfriend?

Because he eats too much sugar, Timmy. And because he thinks dappled roseate colorways make sense next to earthy brown colorways.

Rainbow sprinkle beignets

Yeah. My morning is already WAY better than yours.

I bought a new book!

Also: It's about musicals!
Also: The underpants fairy came!
Also: I arranged my new underpants in rainbow order!
Also: Because it made a brilliantly colorful background for taking a picture of my new book!
Also: Which is about musicals!
Also: None of this means I'm gay, bro.
Also: Unless you have a cute single brother.
Also: And he has to like musicals!
Also: And rainbows!
Also: And underpants!

One script, five highlighter color choices