Sunday, February 05, 2017

The Gronk in a loincloth

We're watching the Super Bowl on a 30-minute delay, but here are my opinions about the first-half commercials, not that anyone needs them but it's my blog and I am burning with essential psychographic insight:

• The Airbnb diversity commercial is as awesome as all of Facebook had promised it would be. But it didn't include the company name and I don't know the logo and the commercial content isn't related to the product so without being told beforehand I wouldn't have known what all that awesomeness was for.
• Christopher Walken reciting boy-band lyrics will inspire me to buy-buy-buy pretty much anything.
• Same with Jeffrey Tambor shushing stainy people.
• A car is a car is a car to me so all the many awesome car commercials I've seen have been totally awesome but I have no idea what brands they were each tied to.
• I'm the same bewildered consumer when it comes to wireless carriers. But Daddy's dead. Suddenly funny.
• The Gronk in a loincloth. The Gronk in a loincloth. The Gronk in a loincloth.
• DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. If you get caught between me and the theater on opening day, you WILL be trampled. But if you promise to be quiet and show the profound reverence and worship that is due to all things Pirates of the Caribbean, you are welcome to join me.
• I'm not kidding about the silence.
• The Gronk in a loincloth. The Gronk in a loincloth. The Gronk in a loincloth.

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