Five years ago I actually headlined the halftime show at the Super Bowl. Well, technically I just led my team to confetti-covered victory at the Super Bowl. Well, technically I just had seats over the dugout with Gisele Bundchen at the Super Bowl. Well, technically I just sold commemorative popcorn at the Super Bowl.
OK, fine. I was just in Indianapolis the weekend of the Super Bowl. But I was visiting my gracious and hospitable friend Bill and we had a great time touring the Super Bowl village and riding the Super Bowl shuttle with Madonna and shopping at the Super Bowl store that had a convenient mortgage department right inside the door to help us buy commemorative shirts and other merchandise.
But I didn't need a mortgage or commemorative shirts or merchandise because I had my $12 all-purpose sportsing shirt. And that's all I needed to inflate my footballs.