Sunday, February 26, 2017

The Bus Riders of Not Fair County

I'm sorry, but those people CHOSE TO TAKE A CHEESY HOLLYWOOD BUS TOUR instead of actually watching the Oscars. I've gushed shamelessly over every overrated Meryl Streep movie ever made. Except for Mama Mia. That movie was a Trump tweet in palazzo pants. So why did those people WHO CHOSE TO TAKE A CHEESY HOLLYWOOD BUS TOUR INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE OSCARS get to meet Meryl Streep instead of me? 

If you'll excuse me, I'll be on my farm in Africa getting a nuclear scrub after choosing between my children and getting exasperated by my mother for changing the lyrics to "I'm Still Here" as I sing a Magic Bean Bourguignon cookbook slightly shrill yet slightly flat while self-righteously watching Roy Cohn die both physically and metaphorically while THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOSE TO TAKE A CHEESY HOLLYWOOD BUS TOUR INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE OSCARS get to meet Meryl Streep.

That is all.

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