Monday, April 18, 2005

Eight reasons today rocks

1. I got a voicemail this morning from my sister, who led my uncommonly photogenic niece and nephew through a shouting chorus of “Happy Birthday” for me. And while I’m sorry I missed the call (though I’m not surprised—I have T-Mobile, after all), I’m glad I have it saved on my cell phone so I can listen to it over and over and over. Which I’ve already done about 50 times today.

2. My family had a cake delivered to my office this morning. So even though none of my co-workers cared kept track long enough to remember that they should have decorated my desk with $100 bills or thrown me a surprise party or brought in dancing hookers (the bitches), now they can’t escape the fact—because it’s written IN FROSTING—that today is the Most Important Day In The History Of The Universe and they should really bow before me with offerings of aromatic oils and perhaps some gift cards from my favorite participating retailers.

3. The show this weekend kicked ass. We got tons of cheers, tons of applause, tons of compliments … and now I have tons of sweaty, stinky socks and tight black shirts to wash. And I have tons of happy memories from what was perhaps the best show we’ve produced in the three years I’ve been in the chorus.

4. Too lazy to clean my house and throw an actual birthday party for myself, I simply brought a cake to the cast party on Saturday night. The cake was store-bought and can-o-squirt-frosting customized by my mom and me. And it tasted like shit and looked like it was decorated in the dark. But people were having such a good time that nobody seemed to notice. And they didn’t even use silverware or plates when they gobbled it up, so maybe it wasn’t that bad.

5. My family bought me new running shoes and new running shorts. I’ve never had REAL running shorts before, and these have a little underpants-like liner with a horizontal bar of foam padding designed to keep my balls from bouncing around and hurting people. I’m hoping that the little foam bar also includes a bonus tickle factor. I’ll be sure to keep you posted if I find one.

6. It’s gorgeous outside. Simply gorgeous.

7. And there are daffodils and tulips everywhere. I love daffodils and tulips. And not just because I’m a pansy—I like them because they symbolize the end of winter, they carry with them the promise of spring and summer, they’re really beautiful … and they’re usually in full bloom on my birthday. It’s nature’s way of celebrating my thick, luxurious hair arrival.

8. Speaking of my thick, luxurious hair, I still have all of it. Even at the ripe old age of 37. Even though it seems to sparkle with more and more little flecks of gray every time I look in the mirror. But the sparkly gray hairs pull attention away from the fine lines and wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. And in the right light I think I can still get away with 36. And a half.


Jeff said...

Aww! (Repeat ten times.)

Happy birthday, Jake.

Spider said...

Does it get any better than that!

Happy Birthday, Jake!

Michael Guy said...

HAVE a delightful Birthday! I love that 'move oceans' line. That's so true. Rare--but true. HAPPY, Happy Birthday!!!

Tuna Girl said...

Happy birthday, Jake!

Don't you love how those "Sweeties" sneak up on ya?

Todd said...

Happy Birthday, Jake!! Glad to hear all the good news! :-)

RcktMan Rick said...

It was a kickass weekend. And who knows, maybe *I* will have a sweetie too sometime soon.

I won't get my hopes up. But I'm happy for you.

susan said...

Happy Birthday!

Christopher said...

[through gritted teeth] I'm soooo very happy for you!

No seriously, I am. And v.happy birthday, old man! *gloats at being four and a half years younger*

Composer said...

Happy birthday Jake!

Thank you for sharing stories with us!

Jay said...

Happy Birthday! Post 35 is the best age I believe! BTW, what brand are the shorts? I have been looking for a pair like that.

R said...

After two weeks of "I have heart arrhythmia" and "I have a potentially cancerous mole," "I have a sweetie" sounds positively fantastic.

iPhil said...

Yes, Well Done old boy.

Oh, sorry, probably less of the "old" wanted.

But, happy birthday.


P.S. My brother ran the London Marathon yesterday. V. proud we all are. I don't know what your time is, but he did it is 3:30 - is that good?

Gilbert said...

Happy Birthday! Glad to know you had a great time.

Andy said...

awwwww... sweet.
Happy Birthday and many many more

Jeff said...

Gawd! I'm gonna hurl from all the sweetness... ;)

Happy Birthday studly!

vanguard said...

Here's a birthday song that some of my friends sing, and really it's much better sung than read, but here goes:

It's your birthday.
Happy Birthday.
It's your birthday.
So forget that somewhere
someone died.
On your birthday.
Happy Birthday.

YAY!!!! Happy Birthday!

Will said...

Jake, happy 37th! And happy kisses and snuggles and giggles and all those good things. You deserve them--he sounds like a nice guy.

Juanita said...

Happy Birthday, Jake!!! Sorry I'm a day late!! My birthday's next month. Hope it'll be as wonderful as the one you had! I want a sweetie too!

Alina said...

Happy birthday, Jake! Sorry for being late, but then again, when you post, I'm already in the dream land!

I wish you the very best with your new sweetie!

ihatehydro said...

Happy belated B-day brah!

Vicki said...

Jake has a sweetie and all is right in his world!

LOVE to see you so happy!

Coffee Dog said...

Happy belated bday!