Primary responsibility: Applying and removing band-aids to/from the middle of my back every morning for the next two weeks.
Secondary responsibilities: Not laughing at the patch of bald skin on my thigh that I shaved so the band-aids won’t hurt so damn much when I pull them off every morning.
Required skills: Proficiency at band-aid application and removal in otherwise unreachable locations, a marked lack of squeamishness regarding stitched-up biopsy wounds (which seem to have stopped oozing by now), not hogging all the ibuprofen.
Compensation: Negotiable. Band-aids and polysporin provided by employer. Romantic boyfriend activities (including wild monkeysex, where applicable) available upon request.