Primary responsibility: Applying and removing band-aids to/from the middle of my back every morning for the next two weeks.
Secondary responsibilities: Not laughing at the patch of bald skin on my thigh that I shaved so the band-aids won’t hurt so damn much when I pull them off every morning.
Required skills: Proficiency at band-aid application and removal in otherwise unreachable locations, a marked lack of squeamishness regarding stitched-up biopsy wounds (which seem to have stopped oozing by now), not hogging all the ibuprofen.
Compensation: Negotiable. Band-aids and polysporin provided by employer. Romantic boyfriend activities (including wild monkeysex, where applicable) available upon request.
9 comments:
Yeah. They'll be kickin' down your door to respond to this one. :-)
OK - where do I get an application?
"Monkeysex"? Since when does that count as "romantic"? Sexual and romantic mores in America must have changed since the latest TV shows got over to the UK.
Speaking of which - has anyone seen Arrested Development? Soooo funny. Je crois.
iPhil
You're too funny! Thanks for a laugh and a lift at the end of a crazy day. You were kidding? Right?
Your opportunity could support a career switch; nursing is a profession where people truly make the difference. Maybe. Hold on--I gotta' ask my BF if this is all okay. Are sponge baths required? Sponges are on sale at CVS this week...
Not to be nosy but what happened to the cuddler. Okay yes I want to be nosy. What happened to the cuddly guy?
O.K. I have never "applied" for a job let alone a position, but, this, has me interested.
Your qualifications as my employer: make sure the car is takin in to be washed and detailed each week.
All laundry and dry cleaning must be sent out by Friday evening as we will need it the next week.
Let me pat your head and give you sweet kisses. Guys like you deserve that.
Who needs a boyfriend? Just get some hunky studly nurse type to do that for you. The monkeysex could just be bonus.
Sorry, I’m definitely not good for this position. There’s this small thing…I’m a girl. But I’ll try to promote you to whoever is interesting. I have this feeling it will be easier to market you and try to find you a BF than trying to find one for my own!:) Or I could ask my brilliant boss to help me because he told me once he could market anything – I’m sure this includes “anyone”!
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