How was your Tuesday?

Mine was fun!

I woke up with a cold that got progressively worse all day, to the point I barely remember stumbling incoherently into bed last night.

I’d thrown out my back a few days earlier, which made it difficult to put on my socks, stand up, sit down, walk, and/or dodge all the icy puddles of slush and snow at every Chicago intersection.

My ex’s dad had emergency heart problems—and, through a circuitous route of coincidences, my mom (who is distantly close (if that makes sense) to my ex’s family) ended up sitting with my ex’s mom for three or four hours while he was in the hospital.

Which isn’t exactly what my mom had been planning to do on her birthday. But it’s totally in her character.

Some asshole (see my unhinged revenge fantasy below) found my credit card number, made a fake ID with my name and address to go with it, and started racking up expensive charges all over the country.

So I spent three hours last night calling my credit card companies, my banks and all three credit bureaus to get new card numbers and to put fraud alerts on all my accounts. And when my new cards come in the mail, I get to go through all the fun of updating everything I have auto-billed to them.

Did I mention I have a horrible cold? And that my nose is so red and raw that I look like a Betty Ford poster child?

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

The credit card fiasco forced me to finally close a Discover account I hadn’t used in at least five years. But it took almost half an hour to close it because the women (they kept transferring me deeper into the Department of NO!) at Discover did not “want to lose [me] as a customer.” (I haven’t used your card in five years, ladies. At this point, I am no longer yours to “lose.”)

My back feels much better. So much so that I plan to do the leg workout I was scheduled to do today.

My cold gave me an excuse to plop down unproductively on the couch last night and watch another hour of implausible CSI adventures.

And I got to experience the one cool thing about being sick last night: chugging down NyQuil®, slathering myself with Vicks VapoRub and snuggling in for a long, restorative sleep.