I KNEW IT

Dad’s “COPD” is a LIE. His “pneumonia” is a LIE. His “staph” is a LIE. His trip to the ER that he staged with the sexy-forearmed doctor and his last four nights in the hospital ... all dirty LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES.

You want to know the tip-off that made me a Mueller to his trump? He “doctor” finally, conspicuously casually, said OUT LOUD and CONVENIENTLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME that Dad “can’t breathe dust” ... especially from CAT LITTER.

So here’s the scoop: This whole clump of coughy lies lies lies is all just an elaborate ruse TO MAKE ME HAVE TO CLEAN BITCH KITTY’S LITTER BOX EVERY WEEK INSTEAD OF HIM.

Poopy. The whole thing is just poopy.